So my friend and band mate Brandon recently shared this story on his blog on facebook...I think it's straight up awesome and so I want to share it with all of you...So here it is, word for word...He speaks wisely in this...
God works folks...Period.
"Seven Second Chances" -Brandon McCarrell
"Do you believe in second chances? I sure do... but do you believe in getting seven chances at something? Ya, sounds totally ridiculous right? Most people do not get even a second chance at things such as school, a job, a relationship, even life. But that is the topic of me writing this... LIFE.
God gave humanity Life through Adam and Eve and let it prosper, but we have also seen his awesome power take many lives away... For some reason I don't think he wants to do that with mine.
As most of you know I have been... in a way... blessed with numerous medical issues. Now, do not get the wrong impression that I like all that has gone on in my life because believe me 25 major operations, hundreds of procedures, and countless tests is not something I would wish on anyone, because it is not fun at all. But these obstacles have molded me into the person I am today. Through others I know I am meticulous, caring, I persevere, work hard, am loyal, and love family and friends etc... through all of this though; forcing me to grow up fast, and make hard decisions has only brought me closer to God, or at least given me a deeper understanding of the importance of Faith in ones life.
Above, as I listed a short summary of what I have been through I left out one detail... the second, third, forth, fifth, sixth... chances... not at a job or some worldly experience, but Life. No not a life in Christ, but actual, breathing, heart beating Life. For those of you who do not know already, this past week I had another run-in with my body trying to stop working... On Wednesday I went in for one of my routine, every 4 month IV Iron infusions, but things did not go as smoothly as they normally do. The doctors wanted to try a new drug that they could administer over a 3 hour period one time... not the 2 one hour treatments I normally get. So as things were going normally, I then felt a burning in my ankles and had some joint pain... Knowing the joint pain was normal I blew it off... Then I Blacked Out... About halfway in I had an Adverse Reaction to the medication and my body seized... As I came to with six doctors around me I was then given a heavy dose of Benedryll... At this point I feel great, well that was the meds talking... My parents were called and my dad was able to be by my side! An hour later as I was about to get the Ok to head home... I started to feel weird and Blacked Out again, but not seizing. I was then induced with a huge amount of steroids to stabilize my bodies reaction the the IV Iron... After the second attack, my mother then was able to come up and sit with me and talk to the doctors. After waiting it out another hour... had been there from 8:30-3pm already I was feeling Ok, able to walk, and was good to go home.
I am not writing this so you guys will be like... Oh Crap, and feel guilty or pity for me... not at all... but more because I amazed myself...
That day I was supposed to have band practice with my two bands and the next day, Thursday, I was supposed to have Fitness Class, 2 other classes, then work. Now, some would have taken the rest of the week off to recover... because every joint in my body was stiff and sore, I have felt dizzy since then, and am on steroids till this Tuesday... so, it would have been understandable... But somehow I did not care what had just happened... I mustered enough energy to get through the band practices, fitness class, and 3 shows with my bands this weekend!
Some may see this as being stubborn, or thinking of others before myself, but I feel like I recover faster if I stay active or keep my mind off of what happened... Also, it was just only a few days ago that I truly understood how Lucky I was to walk out of there.
I was told by a friend that, "God wants you here for some reason, you may not know yet, but not everyone would have made it through half of the things you have been through." This is the reason I think I did not cancel anything this week, or just sit on my butt and relax... God has given me another chance at Life... at making a difference in someone else's life through my testimony, my struggles, my music, or even just how I live my life... And I want to do this to the fullest of my ability.
Because not everyone gets "Seven Second Chances"
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday, April 06, 2009
They're On The Bottom Of The Ocean Floor....
Wow...Got put in my place tonight...This past weekend hasn't been the best, but whatever, we all have a bad day here and there...Tonight I realized how much I have been thinking about myself, even in the past few days...In a bad way...Selfishness is the main theme I can think of for the last little bit...Today all I could think about was myself and I pretty much threw a pity party without even realizing it...I thought I deserved more than what I had...
First of all I deserve nothing, which is why grace is flat out so amazing...
It's nuts how much we stop loving ourselves and believe lies for so long...It's crazy how we think we are supposed to be happy/joyful/peaceful/excited/etc...And then we feel guilty when we get these things...What a lie...Jesus shed his blood so we don't have to...We have such a small obscure view of God and grace...We try to put it all in a box and then get mad at God when he doesn't fit into it...
I love how when you pray and really feel like you have no business talking to God, that he brings forth words from your mouth that seem to be the perfect words for the time...
All I could think of tonight was this song...It was the song that really impacted me when I first became a Christian five years ago...I will always hold a place for this song...
The Mistakes I've made
That cause pain
I could have done without
All my selfish thought
All my pride
The things I hide
You have forgot about
They’re all behind you
They’ll never find you
There on the ocean floor
You sins are forgotten
They’re on the bottom
Of the ocean floor
My misdeeds
All my greed
All the things that haunt me now
They’re not a pretty sight to see
But they're wiped away
By a mighty, mighty wave
A mighty, mighty wave
Your sins are erased
And they are no more
They’re out on the ocean floor
Take them away
To return no more
Take them away
To the ocean floor
Your sins are erased
There are no more
They’re out on the ocean floor
::Audio Adrenaline::
::"Ocean Floor"::
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."
Philippians 2:3
First of all I deserve nothing, which is why grace is flat out so amazing...
It's nuts how much we stop loving ourselves and believe lies for so long...It's crazy how we think we are supposed to be happy/joyful/peaceful/excited/etc...And then we feel guilty when we get these things...What a lie...Jesus shed his blood so we don't have to...We have such a small obscure view of God and grace...We try to put it all in a box and then get mad at God when he doesn't fit into it...
I love how when you pray and really feel like you have no business talking to God, that he brings forth words from your mouth that seem to be the perfect words for the time...
All I could think of tonight was this song...It was the song that really impacted me when I first became a Christian five years ago...I will always hold a place for this song...
The Mistakes I've made
That cause pain
I could have done without
All my selfish thought
All my pride
The things I hide
You have forgot about
They’re all behind you
They’ll never find you
There on the ocean floor
You sins are forgotten
They’re on the bottom
Of the ocean floor
My misdeeds
All my greed
All the things that haunt me now
They’re not a pretty sight to see
But they're wiped away
By a mighty, mighty wave
A mighty, mighty wave
Your sins are erased
And they are no more
They’re out on the ocean floor
Take them away
To return no more
Take them away
To the ocean floor
Your sins are erased
There are no more
They’re out on the ocean floor
::Audio Adrenaline::
::"Ocean Floor"::
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."
Philippians 2:3
Monday, March 30, 2009
Music Speaks...
Here's a song I wrote...I have been feeling this stuff lately...Sorry for not posting much either...Especially stuff of depth...I have a lot to say but little time to say it...But I will for sure try to get on that...God is good...That is constant...
I don't have a name for it yet...Working on that...
I've put my hope in broken things
I've put my hope in shattered things
And all these thoughts I have are mine alone
All these hopes and dreams are mine alone
Who am I that I might speak for You
Who am I that I might walk for You
I have all these things on my mind
But none of them seem to lead anywhere
My heart seems to be the only thing
That I can feel tonight
Who am I that I might speak for You
Who am I that I might walk for You
I can't go back
I won't go back
To the day I fell
Who am I
I don't have a name for it yet...Working on that...
I've put my hope in broken things
I've put my hope in shattered things
And all these thoughts I have are mine alone
All these hopes and dreams are mine alone
Who am I that I might speak for You
Who am I that I might walk for You
I have all these things on my mind
But none of them seem to lead anywhere
My heart seems to be the only thing
That I can feel tonight
Who am I that I might speak for You
Who am I that I might walk for You
I can't go back
I won't go back
To the day I fell
Who am I
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Desolate Earth :: The End Is Here
You said
There was nothing left out here
Well I roamed around the wasteland
And I swear I found something
I found hope
I found God
I found the dreams of the believers
The dreams of the believers
Oh God, save us all...
There was nothing left out here
Well I roamed around the wasteland
And I swear I found something
I found hope
I found God
I found the dreams of the believers
The dreams of the believers
Oh God, save us all...
Friday, March 13, 2009
Alone In The Wilderness...
So, throughout this school year and especially since I got back from Cambodia at the end of January, alone time has been scarce...I am in charge of a freshmen floor at my college and the demands are high...Everyone has a need of some kind, which I am totally cool with...I signed up for the job knowing what I was gonna get into to some degree...The problem is, I have had almost no time for myself...I blame myself some for that, I definitely missed opportunities to get that when I could...But with spring break this next week and no students around, I have decided to get that alone time...I'm going to go backpacking in Shenandoah National park in Virginia for a week...During the day when I'm going to hike alone and then camp at night with the buddies I am driving down with...I am stoked and scared for the alone time...I don't know what God will say or even if he will say anything...I know it may take a few days to clear my head of all my thoughts too...
I ask that you pray, if you believe in it...I just need to hear from God or at least feel Him a little again...I know He is there, but discouragement has been a theme for a bit now...I feel like I am a terrible student leader at college a terrible leader for my high school small group guys...I know it's Satan, but the lie has deceived me on occasion...
One more prayer...A guy close to me lost his dad a few nights ago...The family has a heavy burden now...Pray for them...
So here I go...Into the wilderness for five days, semi-alone and ready to just be free...
-Sinko
I ask that you pray, if you believe in it...I just need to hear from God or at least feel Him a little again...I know He is there, but discouragement has been a theme for a bit now...I feel like I am a terrible student leader at college a terrible leader for my high school small group guys...I know it's Satan, but the lie has deceived me on occasion...
One more prayer...A guy close to me lost his dad a few nights ago...The family has a heavy burden now...Pray for them...
So here I go...Into the wilderness for five days, semi-alone and ready to just be free...
-Sinko
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
My Head and Heart...
Something has been bugging me lately about how I have been handling my relationships...Not just female, but those in particular I guess...I have had an agenda with them...This all sounds so middle-schoolish too, but with girls, I have maybe talked to them or given them attention not just to make friends, but for potential for a girlfriend someday...Now that I have been thinking about it, I don't think that is a good approach or a Godly approach...They are my sisters in Christ...Made in the image of God...
Why then, do I think like a middle-schooler? My first thought when I see my sisters in Christ are not honorable to them as such...Instead, I need to be looking at them as friends and people who can be a part of my life in such ways...
I've been in this place in my life where girls are on my mind all the time, and none of the time...I honestly feel like I am 14 years old or something...What's funny is that I just can't connect my heart and my head...In my head, I know that dating is not a necessity and that life single is great as well...I have lived in it pretty much my whole life...I love it...But for some reason, I can't tell my heart that I don't want to feel like I want to have a girlfriend...It's odd...
At the center, God is there...I know that putting this and any part of my life in his control is the only way to go...And I know that looking at His daughters with pure intent and a solid heart is the only way to go as well...He'll show the way for sure...
Man, reading this back to myself makes me think I have a longer way to go than I thought...Sorry if you had to read this and the maturity level was low...I'm not sure why...
Why then, do I think like a middle-schooler? My first thought when I see my sisters in Christ are not honorable to them as such...Instead, I need to be looking at them as friends and people who can be a part of my life in such ways...
I've been in this place in my life where girls are on my mind all the time, and none of the time...I honestly feel like I am 14 years old or something...What's funny is that I just can't connect my heart and my head...In my head, I know that dating is not a necessity and that life single is great as well...I have lived in it pretty much my whole life...I love it...But for some reason, I can't tell my heart that I don't want to feel like I want to have a girlfriend...It's odd...
At the center, God is there...I know that putting this and any part of my life in his control is the only way to go...And I know that looking at His daughters with pure intent and a solid heart is the only way to go as well...He'll show the way for sure...
Man, reading this back to myself makes me think I have a longer way to go than I thought...Sorry if you had to read this and the maturity level was low...I'm not sure why...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tonight The Stars Speak...
My word...The stars...They speak with no noise...I am struck dumb...How does something so big seem so small, yet still make me feel insignificant? You see, sometimes I think I am pretty awesome...Sometimes I tell myself that I am really good at this thing called life and that I can do no wrong...These times are not Godly...These times result in one cocky, arrogant dude walking around...Man, I look back on those times and wonder who I am...How and why do I think that I am so special? Now I know that I am special to God and that I am made exactly how He wanted me to be...But I am talking more about me thinking that I am pretty big stuff around other people, whether it is true or not...Humility is something that I know I have had to work on and will need to continue to work on...Some of this may seem pretty elementary as far as a thought process goes, so let me expand...
It was a clear night in Indiana tonight...I looked up at the stars...The problem was that I merely looked at them...I didn't immediately go beyond the looking and into the wondering...You see, the stars are huge balls of gas millions of miles and light years away...Just stars...Well, here I am on earth, small and insignificant...I didn't ask for them to be there, they just were...Praise God in heaven I can stare up and be lost in something soo much bigger than myself...
I still am struggling to get what I want to say across, so let me try one more time...
I looked up and got slapped...Stars everywhere...Far away, but still there...There for me to look at and wonder...I has no answers for why I was able to see what I saw, but I saw God in this creation...I want nothing more than to serve God on this earth...Not God plus anything, but just God and God alone...God is so much bigger than I ever planned on Him being...The stars prove it...I'm small, but God still wants to use me and love me...He doesn't need me, He's powerful enough... but He wants me...What? Why? What love is this?
This place we live in is soo big yet we can't see past the end of our noses sometimes...Who are we? Who are you? Why do I get this feeling in me that I can't explain in words every time I look up at the stars? What is driving me to stay up at night and not think, but just wonder...This is worship...Sitting in wonder...Trying not to speak, but just listen in the vastness that surrounds us all...
Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord
How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please
My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
::The Glorious Unseen::
::"Tonight The Stars Speak"::
It was a clear night in Indiana tonight...I looked up at the stars...The problem was that I merely looked at them...I didn't immediately go beyond the looking and into the wondering...You see, the stars are huge balls of gas millions of miles and light years away...Just stars...Well, here I am on earth, small and insignificant...I didn't ask for them to be there, they just were...Praise God in heaven I can stare up and be lost in something soo much bigger than myself...
I still am struggling to get what I want to say across, so let me try one more time...
I looked up and got slapped...Stars everywhere...Far away, but still there...There for me to look at and wonder...I has no answers for why I was able to see what I saw, but I saw God in this creation...I want nothing more than to serve God on this earth...Not God plus anything, but just God and God alone...God is so much bigger than I ever planned on Him being...The stars prove it...I'm small, but God still wants to use me and love me...He doesn't need me, He's powerful enough... but He wants me...What? Why? What love is this?
This place we live in is soo big yet we can't see past the end of our noses sometimes...Who are we? Who are you? Why do I get this feeling in me that I can't explain in words every time I look up at the stars? What is driving me to stay up at night and not think, but just wonder...This is worship...Sitting in wonder...Trying not to speak, but just listen in the vastness that surrounds us all...
Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord
How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please
My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
::The Glorious Unseen::
::"Tonight The Stars Speak"::
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Pain and Blankets...
How do you combat evil when it hides itself in a sheet of pure white? Even when that sheet has visible stains on it...When someone is blinded by emotion and has allowed Satan to hold them fast, while Satan disguises himself in a blanket of lies...
Ever felt completely helpless? Like, truly helpless...To the point of knowing that if God doesn't show up, the whole thing is going to fall apart...Man it's a crazy place...
I have personally have been humbled...Thinking of myself is no option right now...Souls are at stake...
I know this post has mad no sense...So I will get to the end...
If you believe in it...I ask for prayer...Pray for a brother...He needs guidance and love...I will leave it at that...Pray however you wish from that...
Ever felt completely helpless? Like, truly helpless...To the point of knowing that if God doesn't show up, the whole thing is going to fall apart...Man it's a crazy place...
I have personally have been humbled...Thinking of myself is no option right now...Souls are at stake...
I know this post has mad no sense...So I will get to the end...
If you believe in it...I ask for prayer...Pray for a brother...He needs guidance and love...I will leave it at that...Pray however you wish from that...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Cambodia...The Last Days...
Hey Mom! This may be the last email you get from me...We take off tomorrow night...But I hear there is free internet in Seoul so maybe not...We'll see...Anyways...
This past weekend we went to Siem Reap, which is the most touristy place in Cambodia...But it was pretty sweet...We visited temples there, the most famous being Angkor Wat, which was huge....One of the other temples was where parts of Tomb Raider was shot...My buddy Ben and I were like little kids hopping around all the ruins tryng not to get caught by tour guides who didn't want us on stuff :)... It was awesome...I can only describe these temples to you with pictures, so I will show you those when I get home...That night we went to dinner at a place that had traditional Khmer dancing...That was pretty cool...At the end I got my picture taken with one of the Khmer girls :)...One thing about Siem Reap that is bad though is that because it is a tourist place it also brings in the sex industry...There were a ton of massage parlours in the area, and they were not just for that...It was pretty bad to see like four guys sitting outside of one of these things at ten at night...We knew what most of them were there for...There is a lot of underage prostitution too, which a place like IJM, which I explained to you in the last email, tries to combat...
But overall it was a good weekend, even with long bus rides...Today we went to the national museum and say a lot of the art from the 11th century and so on...It was pretty cool...Tomorrow is our last day and we will say our goodbyes to all the awesome people we met on this trip...I have emails from some of them and hope to stay in contact...
This trip has been an amazing experience...I never though I would ever make it out of the country and now that I have I do not regret it...I came here thinking it would bring me out of my lull with God...I thought for sure something like this would shake me awake...It has some yes, but I realize I have to take care of stuff and be with God at all times and not rely on events and experiences to do that for me...I have now seen extreme poverty and seen what daily life is like outside the U.S...Through conversations with my teammates here I have begun the process to get rid of my ego and selfish ways...I have no idea what I will feel like when I get back home...But excited to get home too...I will be back Wednesday afternoonish and I will give you a call when we land...Thanks so much for sending my emails out to everyone and thanks for praying too...I may send you one more email in Seoul if need be...So get back to me quick if you want any info...Ok, I'm off...
Voohey::
::Jake
Here's some pictures from this weekend....
This past weekend we went to Siem Reap, which is the most touristy place in Cambodia...But it was pretty sweet...We visited temples there, the most famous being Angkor Wat, which was huge....One of the other temples was where parts of Tomb Raider was shot...My buddy Ben and I were like little kids hopping around all the ruins tryng not to get caught by tour guides who didn't want us on stuff :)... It was awesome...I can only describe these temples to you with pictures, so I will show you those when I get home...That night we went to dinner at a place that had traditional Khmer dancing...That was pretty cool...At the end I got my picture taken with one of the Khmer girls :)...One thing about Siem Reap that is bad though is that because it is a tourist place it also brings in the sex industry...There were a ton of massage parlours in the area, and they were not just for that...It was pretty bad to see like four guys sitting outside of one of these things at ten at night...We knew what most of them were there for...There is a lot of underage prostitution too, which a place like IJM, which I explained to you in the last email, tries to combat...
But overall it was a good weekend, even with long bus rides...Today we went to the national museum and say a lot of the art from the 11th century and so on...It was pretty cool...Tomorrow is our last day and we will say our goodbyes to all the awesome people we met on this trip...I have emails from some of them and hope to stay in contact...
This trip has been an amazing experience...I never though I would ever make it out of the country and now that I have I do not regret it...I came here thinking it would bring me out of my lull with God...I thought for sure something like this would shake me awake...It has some yes, but I realize I have to take care of stuff and be with God at all times and not rely on events and experiences to do that for me...I have now seen extreme poverty and seen what daily life is like outside the U.S...Through conversations with my teammates here I have begun the process to get rid of my ego and selfish ways...I have no idea what I will feel like when I get back home...But excited to get home too...I will be back Wednesday afternoonish and I will give you a call when we land...Thanks so much for sending my emails out to everyone and thanks for praying too...I may send you one more email in Seoul if need be...So get back to me quick if you want any info...Ok, I'm off...
Voohey::
::Jake
Here's some pictures from this weekend....
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Cambodia Part 4...
Hey Mom! Here's another email...
I can''t remember where I last left you, but I think it was at the end of last week...So, here is this week's news....
Monday we got to meet with the people at IJM (International Justice Mission)...We were lucky enough to be able to meet them at their headquarters here...It was so cool to hear about what they do...Here in Cambodia, they focus on the sex slavery and brothels and such...They have people who are undercover investigators who go in and rescue underage girls from the brothels here in Cambodia, with Phnom Penh (the city we stay in) being a big target...They not only rescue the girls, they care for them and teach them that they are valueable people...In the brothels they lose a lot of sense of themselves and face stuff I would only have nightmares about...Everyone working there is very smart and they don't make decisions without doing their homework....
Tuesday morning we went to an orphange named Happy Tree that is specifically for children with HIV/AIDS...That was awesome...As soon as we walked in the kids were all over us, just grabbing our hands and just wanting to be touched...It was pretty overwhelming at first...I brought my guitar out and I swear like twenty-five kids flocked to me...After I played for a few minutes I let them strum while I did the chords and played my harmonica on the harmonica brace you got me....It was soooo much fun...The kids loved it and just kept passing the pick around...There was also this kid I met named Mein there whom I got pretty close to...Near the end of our time he was dressed for school and he brought out his school supplies and workbooks from his backpack and showed me all his assignments and smiled and pointed to the pages he got 10/10 on...I knew very very little Khmer and he knew no english, but that barrier was completely surpassed by love and care and something as simple as a smile...
That afternoon we went to a place they call Rubbish Mountain, which is their dump...The crazy thing is that there are a ton of people living there in communities...We brought in some water and food to give away, and people just rushed to us to us and in a matter of seconds we had given everything away....Then we left...It all happened so fast I still can't process it...Now, I know there can be critics on what we did, and we were some of the hardest ones ourselves...We realize that just giving stuff away sometimes can be super selfsih on our part and relationships are where it is at...Those people will not be rescued from poverty by us visiting...They will be rescued by being educated or learning a trade and going somewhere with it...There was nothing wrong with what we did, but it was not the most effective, and we know that...There is so much we talked about pertaining to this I really cannot type it all...I will tell you more when I get back home...
Yesterday (Wednesday) we visted a place called RDI (Rural Development International)....This place was something I was really interested in...A chemistry professor at a college in Buffalo started this project to create water pots that filter water and a well drilling project....But he was different than the big organizations you hear about...They are not dumb...a lot of the time big organizations like UNICEF drill wells and don't test the water, resulting in something like 7% of their wells being contaminated in Asia....They more or less throw money at the problem...RDI staffs people who know what they are doing and do their homework on locations and then keep cost down on the projects so villages can split cost and afforda well or filter...They also create job opportunites for ladies with pottery and alos teach farmers how to have self-sustaining animal farms and help them start those...In the afternoon, we actually go to helkp make the filter pots and package them, which was cool...
But I have to go now, so sorry...I will try to get pictues up tonight if I can...Tell everyone I said hi!
P.S....I am going to the Royal Palace in 10 min... :)
Voohey::
::Jake
I can''t remember where I last left you, but I think it was at the end of last week...So, here is this week's news....
Monday we got to meet with the people at IJM (International Justice Mission)...We were lucky enough to be able to meet them at their headquarters here...It was so cool to hear about what they do...Here in Cambodia, they focus on the sex slavery and brothels and such...They have people who are undercover investigators who go in and rescue underage girls from the brothels here in Cambodia, with Phnom Penh (the city we stay in) being a big target...They not only rescue the girls, they care for them and teach them that they are valueable people...In the brothels they lose a lot of sense of themselves and face stuff I would only have nightmares about...Everyone working there is very smart and they don't make decisions without doing their homework....
Tuesday morning we went to an orphange named Happy Tree that is specifically for children with HIV/AIDS...That was awesome...As soon as we walked in the kids were all over us, just grabbing our hands and just wanting to be touched...It was pretty overwhelming at first...I brought my guitar out and I swear like twenty-five kids flocked to me...After I played for a few minutes I let them strum while I did the chords and played my harmonica on the harmonica brace you got me....It was soooo much fun...The kids loved it and just kept passing the pick around...There was also this kid I met named Mein there whom I got pretty close to...Near the end of our time he was dressed for school and he brought out his school supplies and workbooks from his backpack and showed me all his assignments and smiled and pointed to the pages he got 10/10 on...I knew very very little Khmer and he knew no english, but that barrier was completely surpassed by love and care and something as simple as a smile...
That afternoon we went to a place they call Rubbish Mountain, which is their dump...The crazy thing is that there are a ton of people living there in communities...We brought in some water and food to give away, and people just rushed to us to us and in a matter of seconds we had given everything away....Then we left...It all happened so fast I still can't process it...Now, I know there can be critics on what we did, and we were some of the hardest ones ourselves...We realize that just giving stuff away sometimes can be super selfsih on our part and relationships are where it is at...Those people will not be rescued from poverty by us visiting...They will be rescued by being educated or learning a trade and going somewhere with it...There was nothing wrong with what we did, but it was not the most effective, and we know that...There is so much we talked about pertaining to this I really cannot type it all...I will tell you more when I get back home...
Yesterday (Wednesday) we visted a place called RDI (Rural Development International)....This place was something I was really interested in...A chemistry professor at a college in Buffalo started this project to create water pots that filter water and a well drilling project....But he was different than the big organizations you hear about...They are not dumb...a lot of the time big organizations like UNICEF drill wells and don't test the water, resulting in something like 7% of their wells being contaminated in Asia....They more or less throw money at the problem...RDI staffs people who know what they are doing and do their homework on locations and then keep cost down on the projects so villages can split cost and afforda well or filter...They also create job opportunites for ladies with pottery and alos teach farmers how to have self-sustaining animal farms and help them start those...In the afternoon, we actually go to helkp make the filter pots and package them, which was cool...
But I have to go now, so sorry...I will try to get pictues up tonight if I can...Tell everyone I said hi!
P.S....I am going to the Royal Palace in 10 min... :)
Voohey::
::Jake
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Cambodia...Part 3
Hey Mom...Sooo nice to here about stuff back home...I did see those pictures Bobby posted...Looks like a good time...I really miss the ice and snow, hockey, and for sure burgers, ice cream, cookies, milk, sloppy joes, and cereal...Rice and tea are apart of me now...And I really wish I could have been there when Uncle Matt brought over all that venison and whatnot...But it's going good here too...
The days are definitely long and I am getting more tired...But it's ok...Since we last talked, I visited two places on Monday that were a place for children to go for school and meals and stuff...It was amazing...The kids were freaking cute and they loved to play with you and just be around you...I honestly didn't want to leave either place at the end of the day...
On tuesday we went to the U.S. embassy in the morning and got to meet with the second in charge here in Cambodia...We got to have a discussion and ask questions about what the U.S. is doing here and how that is taking place...For the most part they are doing ok, but politics were an underlying theme I could tell...That afternoon we visited some sweat shop workers at their home who were fired because they formed a union for better pay and treatment...When we were waling down the alleys to their homes I felt like I was on the Discovery Channel and we were in the documentary on third world countries...It was crazy...They were very nice ladies though and definitely had their head on their shoulders...We asked them how much they make and they said $50 a month...Even with the exchange rate thats nuts...Rent is $15-$20 a month for something even small...
Wednesday was a long day in the bus, but I got to see dolphins! We took a longboat out in the Mekong River and just chilled around while river dolphins came to surface within 15 feet of us...It was awesome...I was feeling sick that day and being out on the water with the warm breeze helped a lot...But I still had the runs for a few days after...Don't worry, I'm better now :)...
Thursday was a long drive too...We left from Kreche, where we were with the dolphins and continued on to Boung Long in the Rhotanakiri province...It definitely was nice to be in the country...The city was chocking me out some...Saw a pretty cool sunset too...We visited a village where the people don't have much contact with the outside and played frisbee with some f the teenagers for awhile...That was fun...It's amazing that even with the language barrier a smile and laugh can communicate just as well...
The day before last was one the best...We swam in a waterfall...It's was freaking awesome...I climbed behind it and we found a tunnel thing that we went a few feet down...So cool...Then that afternoon we went and swam in Crater Lake, which is an extinct volcano bowl...It was warm and a nice sunny day out...Perfect for the lake...Made me miss Michigan summers on the lake...
And God has been working on me these last few days...I have been pretty cocky and selfish and prideful lately...I've been reading a book called Crazy Love and it has helped me get back to the place I was at a awhile back with God...I am starting to go back to when it wasn't all about me and that is soo huge here...There are 15 of us and we get on each other's nerves sometime...But I have to remember that we are here together...And I am sooo ready for God to make himself more evident than has before...I have been in a lull and am sick of it...But pray that I find God here and that this last week, which seems like an eternity, can be all about Him...There are people here I can serve in these last days....I'm sick of living for myself...It has left me worn out and tired...
But I have to go...Time to go back to the hotel...I have been having a blast and this has been way worth it so far...Thanks for letting me go and tell everyone I said hi...I will write at least once more before we leave next week...So...until then...Joom Reap Leah!
Sorry... I will try next time!
Voohey::
::Jake
P.S....I tried to add pictures but the computer wouldn't pick up my camera...:(
The days are definitely long and I am getting more tired...But it's ok...Since we last talked, I visited two places on Monday that were a place for children to go for school and meals and stuff...It was amazing...The kids were freaking cute and they loved to play with you and just be around you...I honestly didn't want to leave either place at the end of the day...
On tuesday we went to the U.S. embassy in the morning and got to meet with the second in charge here in Cambodia...We got to have a discussion and ask questions about what the U.S. is doing here and how that is taking place...For the most part they are doing ok, but politics were an underlying theme I could tell...That afternoon we visited some sweat shop workers at their home who were fired because they formed a union for better pay and treatment...When we were waling down the alleys to their homes I felt like I was on the Discovery Channel and we were in the documentary on third world countries...It was crazy...They were very nice ladies though and definitely had their head on their shoulders...We asked them how much they make and they said $50 a month...Even with the exchange rate thats nuts...Rent is $15-$20 a month for something even small...
Wednesday was a long day in the bus, but I got to see dolphins! We took a longboat out in the Mekong River and just chilled around while river dolphins came to surface within 15 feet of us...It was awesome...I was feeling sick that day and being out on the water with the warm breeze helped a lot...But I still had the runs for a few days after...Don't worry, I'm better now :)...
Thursday was a long drive too...We left from Kreche, where we were with the dolphins and continued on to Boung Long in the Rhotanakiri province...It definitely was nice to be in the country...The city was chocking me out some...Saw a pretty cool sunset too...We visited a village where the people don't have much contact with the outside and played frisbee with some f the teenagers for awhile...That was fun...It's amazing that even with the language barrier a smile and laugh can communicate just as well...
The day before last was one the best...We swam in a waterfall...It's was freaking awesome...I climbed behind it and we found a tunnel thing that we went a few feet down...So cool...Then that afternoon we went and swam in Crater Lake, which is an extinct volcano bowl...It was warm and a nice sunny day out...Perfect for the lake...Made me miss Michigan summers on the lake...
And God has been working on me these last few days...I have been pretty cocky and selfish and prideful lately...I've been reading a book called Crazy Love and it has helped me get back to the place I was at a awhile back with God...I am starting to go back to when it wasn't all about me and that is soo huge here...There are 15 of us and we get on each other's nerves sometime...But I have to remember that we are here together...And I am sooo ready for God to make himself more evident than has before...I have been in a lull and am sick of it...But pray that I find God here and that this last week, which seems like an eternity, can be all about Him...There are people here I can serve in these last days....I'm sick of living for myself...It has left me worn out and tired...
But I have to go...Time to go back to the hotel...I have been having a blast and this has been way worth it so far...Thanks for letting me go and tell everyone I said hi...I will write at least once more before we leave next week...So...until then...Joom Reap Leah!
Sorry... I will try next time!
Voohey::
::Jake
P.S....I tried to add pictures but the computer wouldn't pick up my camera...:(
Monday, January 05, 2009
Cambodia Part Two...
Another letter to my mom from Cambodia :)
Joom Reap Sooa!
Hey Mom,
Greetings from Cambodia again...I have no clue where to start on telling you about all the stuff we have done already...Just today we went to two places that take in kids for the day and halp educate them and feed them and whatnot, and I couldn't have had more fun hanging out weith kids who had no idea what I was saying, and I had no clue what they said...I have sooo many pictures of them and every single one is freaking cute...The new camera is insane too...It takes pictures that make me look like a frickin professional...
Rice, Me, and Tea has become one...Not one day and rarely a meal will go by where I do not have one or both of them...I'm guessing by the time I get back a good old burger on the grill at home is in order... :) Oh, and I am keeping a journal...We have to for this trip to get credit...
Over the past week or so I have taken a ferry across a huge river...ridden on a bud down the bumpiest road in the hisotry of humankind at eleven at night while trying to sleep and sitting in the back past the rear axle (not fun)...Eaten at a ton of restaurants that serve many different things...Gotten to know some of the college age guys from here at the nearest church and they were real cool...played Amazing Grace on guitar with everyone from our trip singing for the church...Ridden in the back of a pick-up down one the busier roads in Phnom Penh...visited some families waaayyy out in the countryside and crashed a bridal shower where there were a ton of women and children that we hung out with for awhile...And it's different here with that...People love it when you stop by and just talk and visit...The sense of time is not like in the states where everyone is to the minute...It's a little easier going out here, especially in the country...Also, we went to the Toul Slang Museum and the Killing Fields where we saw some really heavy stuff...I learned so much about the stuff that went on in 75-79 here and I have never been more disgusted with humanity before...I have no idea how no one knew about Pol Pot and his regime...It was so sick and so bad here during that time...And reading stories from peopel that survived through the Khmer Rouge Regime is insane...Comparitavely and Ratio-wise, this was worse than the Holocoust...Cambodia lost 1/3-1/2 of its people in four years...We had a guide at the Killing Fields who lived through it and he quietly told us about his experience and about watching his family get killed and tortured...He was very brave and you could see hoe much it hurt him, but he wanted us to know...He wanted us to see what no one else knows a lot about...Of course emtionally I was charged and still am, but I feel I have to educate people on this too, in some facet or time...
And keep praying for me, for all of us, and for God in this country...There aren't a lot of Christians, but the ones I have met are so loving and kind that I am challenged to put aside my petty crap sometimes...I need to push throught junk and simplify it down to just love...I have been to legalistic and technical with my faith...Sometimes, not always, but sometimes it is as simple as God working and you loving...
So, I have to go again and it's dinner time, while Dad would just be getting up for work...Not sure when the next time is for internet so until then, joom reap leah! (goodbye in Khmer)
Oh, and I am really missing that cold weather and ice rink right now...Tell pop thanks for getting it back going again...And let my friends come over if they want to :)
Voo hey::
::Jake
Joom Reap Sooa!
Hey Mom,
Greetings from Cambodia again...I have no clue where to start on telling you about all the stuff we have done already...Just today we went to two places that take in kids for the day and halp educate them and feed them and whatnot, and I couldn't have had more fun hanging out weith kids who had no idea what I was saying, and I had no clue what they said...I have sooo many pictures of them and every single one is freaking cute...The new camera is insane too...It takes pictures that make me look like a frickin professional...
Rice, Me, and Tea has become one...Not one day and rarely a meal will go by where I do not have one or both of them...I'm guessing by the time I get back a good old burger on the grill at home is in order... :) Oh, and I am keeping a journal...We have to for this trip to get credit...
Over the past week or so I have taken a ferry across a huge river...ridden on a bud down the bumpiest road in the hisotry of humankind at eleven at night while trying to sleep and sitting in the back past the rear axle (not fun)...Eaten at a ton of restaurants that serve many different things...Gotten to know some of the college age guys from here at the nearest church and they were real cool...played Amazing Grace on guitar with everyone from our trip singing for the church...Ridden in the back of a pick-up down one the busier roads in Phnom Penh...visited some families waaayyy out in the countryside and crashed a bridal shower where there were a ton of women and children that we hung out with for awhile...And it's different here with that...People love it when you stop by and just talk and visit...The sense of time is not like in the states where everyone is to the minute...It's a little easier going out here, especially in the country...Also, we went to the Toul Slang Museum and the Killing Fields where we saw some really heavy stuff...I learned so much about the stuff that went on in 75-79 here and I have never been more disgusted with humanity before...I have no idea how no one knew about Pol Pot and his regime...It was so sick and so bad here during that time...And reading stories from peopel that survived through the Khmer Rouge Regime is insane...Comparitavely and Ratio-wise, this was worse than the Holocoust...Cambodia lost 1/3-1/2 of its people in four years...We had a guide at the Killing Fields who lived through it and he quietly told us about his experience and about watching his family get killed and tortured...He was very brave and you could see hoe much it hurt him, but he wanted us to know...He wanted us to see what no one else knows a lot about...Of course emtionally I was charged and still am, but I feel I have to educate people on this too, in some facet or time...
And keep praying for me, for all of us, and for God in this country...There aren't a lot of Christians, but the ones I have met are so loving and kind that I am challenged to put aside my petty crap sometimes...I need to push throught junk and simplify it down to just love...I have been to legalistic and technical with my faith...Sometimes, not always, but sometimes it is as simple as God working and you loving...
So, I have to go again and it's dinner time, while Dad would just be getting up for work...Not sure when the next time is for internet so until then, joom reap leah! (goodbye in Khmer)
Oh, and I am really missing that cold weather and ice rink right now...Tell pop thanks for getting it back going again...And let my friends come over if they want to :)
Voo hey::
::Jake
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Cambodia...Day One...
So here is the email I sent my mom as I am sitting in an internet place in Phnom Penh, Cambodia...
Hey mom! I'm sitting here in some hole in the wall internet cafe shop thing on the busiet streets I have ever seen in my life....I don't have my cable to upload photos or I would show you some of the stuff I have seen so far...It's still surreal for me...We got here safe and I decided 20 hours of traveling kinda sucks...But I did sleep more than I was awake on the plane...I would have called right now too, except I am 12 hours ahead and it's 5 am there...So maybe next time I will call, but that won't be for awhile...And sending a postcard home is almost pointless because by the time you get it I will be almost home, so I may just hold off on that stuff because internet is cheaper...
So far we have seen major parts of Phnom Penh and been to a majpr Buddhist Temple, eaten lunch in a cafe where I had some awesome burrito thing, and I have shopped in on of the major markets in the city, which was crazy busy...Since I didn't bring enough dress shirts I bought two name brand shirts here for half of what it would have cost me back home...But the traffic on the streets is nuts...Abosolutely no order but somehow there still is some messy organization to it...Our bus driver is awesome...
We have this dude named Issac who's affiliated with the local church here and he is showing us around the city and he's hilarious...Doesn't speak English the best, but that's what makes it funnier...I'm staying a room with the other two college guys on the trip and it really isn't too bad...We have air conditioning that works pretty well and a couple of lizards in our room keeping the bugs away...Not kidding...But they are harmless...No worries...
Kinda weird with all the Buddhism around though...A lot of people bringing offerings to all sorts of houses and idols and such...Something like 97% of the country is Buddhist, but I just haven't been exposed to it like this before...Around the temple was cool because there were monkeys just playing around in the trees and stuff
So all of this is random stuff, but there is my first day so far and I think we will get to write again by the weekend or so...Remeber, no news is good news, so don't fret if you don't hear from me...I'm taking my meds and stuff and so far am fine...Forward this email to everyone who's interested and please pray for all of us and especially me, that God changes my heart while I am here and that He rocks my world over these 23 days...
Ok, I'm out...Time to go get dinner...
-Jake :)
Hey mom! I'm sitting here in some hole in the wall internet cafe shop thing on the busiet streets I have ever seen in my life....I don't have my cable to upload photos or I would show you some of the stuff I have seen so far...It's still surreal for me...We got here safe and I decided 20 hours of traveling kinda sucks...But I did sleep more than I was awake on the plane...I would have called right now too, except I am 12 hours ahead and it's 5 am there...So maybe next time I will call, but that won't be for awhile...And sending a postcard home is almost pointless because by the time you get it I will be almost home, so I may just hold off on that stuff because internet is cheaper...
So far we have seen major parts of Phnom Penh and been to a majpr Buddhist Temple, eaten lunch in a cafe where I had some awesome burrito thing, and I have shopped in on of the major markets in the city, which was crazy busy...Since I didn't bring enough dress shirts I bought two name brand shirts here for half of what it would have cost me back home...But the traffic on the streets is nuts...Abosolutely no order but somehow there still is some messy organization to it...Our bus driver is awesome...
We have this dude named Issac who's affiliated with the local church here and he is showing us around the city and he's hilarious...Doesn't speak English the best, but that's what makes it funnier...I'm staying a room with the other two college guys on the trip and it really isn't too bad...We have air conditioning that works pretty well and a couple of lizards in our room keeping the bugs away...Not kidding...But they are harmless...No worries...
Kinda weird with all the Buddhism around though...A lot of people bringing offerings to all sorts of houses and idols and such...Something like 97% of the country is Buddhist, but I just haven't been exposed to it like this before...Around the temple was cool because there were monkeys just playing around in the trees and stuff
So all of this is random stuff, but there is my first day so far and I think we will get to write again by the weekend or so...Remeber, no news is good news, so don't fret if you don't hear from me...I'm taking my meds and stuff and so far am fine...Forward this email to everyone who's interested and please pray for all of us and especially me, that God changes my heart while I am here and that He rocks my world over these 23 days...
Ok, I'm out...Time to go get dinner...
-Jake :)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Cambodia...
So, I leave tomorrow (Sunday) for Cambodia for a school cross cultural trip...Actually, I leave on Monday but we are staying the night in Chicago because we take off from O' Hare Airport on Monday morning...There are 14 of us going, counting the two instructors....
I have no clue what is going to happen or what I am really getting myself into...I have never left the country in my life, not even to Canada...Weird considering I have played hockey my whole life...But anyways, This is a huge step for me...I know God is gonna rock my world over there and I know that this will be a solid point in my life that defines who I am...So I ask for prayer, which I hate doing, but I know that we are all here as a body to be there for each other...I ask that you pray that we are safe traveling, that we are safe from the different diseases that are over there, and that we just let ourselves be there and be fully into what we are doing in every moment...There's this quote and I can't remember who it's from, but it says that, "Something sacred is at stake at every moment..." I want that to be truer than ever in Cambodia...
If I can manage it, I will try to blog when I am over there and update you on some stuff, but I'm not sure how the internet situation looks...So, if you don't hear from me withing the next 30 days, I will let you know how it was when I return on January 21-22...
Peace.
-Sinko
I have no clue what is going to happen or what I am really getting myself into...I have never left the country in my life, not even to Canada...Weird considering I have played hockey my whole life...But anyways, This is a huge step for me...I know God is gonna rock my world over there and I know that this will be a solid point in my life that defines who I am...So I ask for prayer, which I hate doing, but I know that we are all here as a body to be there for each other...I ask that you pray that we are safe traveling, that we are safe from the different diseases that are over there, and that we just let ourselves be there and be fully into what we are doing in every moment...There's this quote and I can't remember who it's from, but it says that, "Something sacred is at stake at every moment..." I want that to be truer than ever in Cambodia...
If I can manage it, I will try to blog when I am over there and update you on some stuff, but I'm not sure how the internet situation looks...So, if you don't hear from me withing the next 30 days, I will let you know how it was when I return on January 21-22...
Peace.
-Sinko
Thursday, December 25, 2008
A Man of God...
Where do I start...
There is this man who was a big part of my journey into becoming who I am now...He invested a ton of time in me and sat and listened to me and my stupidity every week for who knows how long...He has a daughter whom I consider to be one of my best girlfriends ever...His name is Randy Shafer and he is the man...The only bad news I bear on this is that he passed away on December 22...3 days ago...It was expected for the most part...he had been struggling with Stage 3 Melanoma cancer and it got really bad in the last few weeks...But it still doesn't take away the pain and sting that comes from losing someone close to you...I have never had anyone die who I was this close to before...I'm kind of numb to it and don't know what to think all the time...And if I feel like this, then his kids (Emma, Ian, and Jenn) and wife (Beth) are feeling it x10...They have gone through so much seeing him in pain and suffer throughout the last year or so...I mean, to think of my dad or mom dying right now is straight up frightening and weird...I have to tell you though, God is God in this...God is so present in this it's insane...Kind of weird to hear that kind of positive talk when someone dies eh? I don't care what you think, first off, Randy was one of the most Godly men I have ever met in my entire life...He radiated Jesus through his pores...There was no way anyone could know him even a little and not be in tune to how much he loved God...He is such an encouragement for me to be like that...What is also awesome is how Jenn has handled it, just because I am closer to her than the other siblings and so I know more about how she is doing...Watching how she has handled it has brought me to a better understanding of what it means to lean on God...She is a monstrous encouragement in my life...Here is a note she wrote...
I wanted you all to know that our sweet daddy, Randy Shafer, passed away last night (Dec 22). He’s dancing and laughing in heaven now....no more struggle. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers throughout all this. As my mom said, “This has had a strange beauty, and we are in awe of what God can do.”
My family and I are so peaceful, but it all seems very surreal at the moment. We’re celebrating his life on Saturday, December 27th at 3 p.m. at Westwinds Community Church. (And it REALLY is going to be a celebration!) There will be a visitation on Friday, December 26th also at Westwinds. Because of the holidays, weather, etc., the service will also be livestreamed on the web at 3 p.m. on the 27th at www.westwinds.org
Here’s a link to his obituary, which gives directions to Westwinds and a little more info. It should be updated soon.
http://obits.mlive.com/Jackson/DeathNotices.asp
So.....YEAH.......
I'm numb.
I’m wrestling with God.
I don't understand.
I have so many questions.
My heart is breaking.
But still, God is showing up every step of the way....Just a few moments ago we looked out our front window to see a huge group of people with candles praying outside our house in the freezing cold and snow! I could go on with stories from these past weeks, but it wouldn’t do them justice. Like I said before, ask me about them, and I would love to tell you with tears of joy in my eyes.
I am left with no doubt in my mind that there is a powerful God who loves people passionately.... who fills you when you’re empty.... who carries you when have no strength to stand.... who is your father when you’re fatherless.....
......And that my dad is sitting in His lap right now as I type.
I love you, daddy. My words and tears will never be enough. Your eyes will forever twinkle in my mind and heart. Your gentle voice and arms will cradle me to sleep. I am so proud to have been your daughter, and I will brag about you until the day I die!!! But most of all, I will live my life for Jesus. Because through you, He has instilled A RAGING FIRE IN ME THAT CANNOT BURN OUT.......
Jenn ;)
this is the link to my dad's blog if you feel like an amazing read:
http://fogparty.blogs.com/
I really can't think of much more to say right now...All I ask is that if you believe in prayer that you do just that for Beth, Jenn, Ian, and Emma....They need strength from God now...And thanks for reading this long one...
::Sinko::
There is this man who was a big part of my journey into becoming who I am now...He invested a ton of time in me and sat and listened to me and my stupidity every week for who knows how long...He has a daughter whom I consider to be one of my best girlfriends ever...His name is Randy Shafer and he is the man...The only bad news I bear on this is that he passed away on December 22...3 days ago...It was expected for the most part...he had been struggling with Stage 3 Melanoma cancer and it got really bad in the last few weeks...But it still doesn't take away the pain and sting that comes from losing someone close to you...I have never had anyone die who I was this close to before...I'm kind of numb to it and don't know what to think all the time...And if I feel like this, then his kids (Emma, Ian, and Jenn) and wife (Beth) are feeling it x10...They have gone through so much seeing him in pain and suffer throughout the last year or so...I mean, to think of my dad or mom dying right now is straight up frightening and weird...I have to tell you though, God is God in this...God is so present in this it's insane...Kind of weird to hear that kind of positive talk when someone dies eh? I don't care what you think, first off, Randy was one of the most Godly men I have ever met in my entire life...He radiated Jesus through his pores...There was no way anyone could know him even a little and not be in tune to how much he loved God...He is such an encouragement for me to be like that...What is also awesome is how Jenn has handled it, just because I am closer to her than the other siblings and so I know more about how she is doing...Watching how she has handled it has brought me to a better understanding of what it means to lean on God...She is a monstrous encouragement in my life...Here is a note she wrote...
I wanted you all to know that our sweet daddy, Randy Shafer, passed away last night (Dec 22). He’s dancing and laughing in heaven now....no more struggle. Thank you so much for all your thoughts and prayers throughout all this. As my mom said, “This has had a strange beauty, and we are in awe of what God can do.”
My family and I are so peaceful, but it all seems very surreal at the moment. We’re celebrating his life on Saturday, December 27th at 3 p.m. at Westwinds Community Church. (And it REALLY is going to be a celebration!) There will be a visitation on Friday, December 26th also at Westwinds. Because of the holidays, weather, etc., the service will also be livestreamed on the web at 3 p.m. on the 27th at www.westwinds.org
Here’s a link to his obituary, which gives directions to Westwinds and a little more info. It should be updated soon.
http://obits.mlive.com/Jackson/DeathNotices.asp
So.....YEAH.......
I'm numb.
I’m wrestling with God.
I don't understand.
I have so many questions.
My heart is breaking.
But still, God is showing up every step of the way....Just a few moments ago we looked out our front window to see a huge group of people with candles praying outside our house in the freezing cold and snow! I could go on with stories from these past weeks, but it wouldn’t do them justice. Like I said before, ask me about them, and I would love to tell you with tears of joy in my eyes.
I am left with no doubt in my mind that there is a powerful God who loves people passionately.... who fills you when you’re empty.... who carries you when have no strength to stand.... who is your father when you’re fatherless.....
......And that my dad is sitting in His lap right now as I type.
I love you, daddy. My words and tears will never be enough. Your eyes will forever twinkle in my mind and heart. Your gentle voice and arms will cradle me to sleep. I am so proud to have been your daughter, and I will brag about you until the day I die!!! But most of all, I will live my life for Jesus. Because through you, He has instilled A RAGING FIRE IN ME THAT CANNOT BURN OUT.......
Jenn ;)
this is the link to my dad's blog if you feel like an amazing read:
http://fogparty.blogs.com/
I really can't think of much more to say right now...All I ask is that if you believe in prayer that you do just that for Beth, Jenn, Ian, and Emma....They need strength from God now...And thanks for reading this long one...
::Sinko::
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Tonight The Stars Speak...
Holy mother it's been a bit...So sorry....School got nuts with exams and such at the last few weeks...But I am now done with my first semester this year...I could have done better with my grades, but I dug my own hole on that one...
This weeekend I went with some of my best friends to a lake house in Indiana...We had a good time hanging out, but the coolest things that happened was the couple conversations we had throughout the weekend...We just talked about everything and anything...I'm pretty sure we discussed every major problem in the church and what can be done to help it...We also talked a lot about our generation, like birth years 1985-1989ish I think, and how we have so much potential for real change in the world...Like, this wasn't just another pump up talk or speech either...We realize that the generation before us didn't care a lot of anyone but themselves, and the generation after us is too addicted to technology to get outside of the front of a screen to want to do anything...I know this is me for sure...I know I want to do something insane for God in this world...It's freaking possible...There are so many opportunities and places in this world and I have too much dang desire to do something insane for God...There is sooo much freaking power in just trusting God to work in you without reserve...He is too big for us to contain in our bodies...There is no end to it...I have no clue what I am supposed to specifically be doing with my life really...I know what I am gifted in and equipped for, but I really don't care what exactly I do...I know that whatever I am doing and wherever I am, God is gonna do something nuts with me...I just hope I stay as open to it throughout my life...
P.S....If you have never heard of a band called the Glorious Unseen you need to check them out or I will personally cut off your ears with shears :) This song sends me into a state of worship and serenity I didn't know existed...
Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord
How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please
My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
::The Glorious Unseen::
::"Tonight The Stars Speak"::
This weeekend I went with some of my best friends to a lake house in Indiana...We had a good time hanging out, but the coolest things that happened was the couple conversations we had throughout the weekend...We just talked about everything and anything...I'm pretty sure we discussed every major problem in the church and what can be done to help it...We also talked a lot about our generation, like birth years 1985-1989ish I think, and how we have so much potential for real change in the world...Like, this wasn't just another pump up talk or speech either...We realize that the generation before us didn't care a lot of anyone but themselves, and the generation after us is too addicted to technology to get outside of the front of a screen to want to do anything...I know this is me for sure...I know I want to do something insane for God in this world...It's freaking possible...There are so many opportunities and places in this world and I have too much dang desire to do something insane for God...There is sooo much freaking power in just trusting God to work in you without reserve...He is too big for us to contain in our bodies...There is no end to it...I have no clue what I am supposed to specifically be doing with my life really...I know what I am gifted in and equipped for, but I really don't care what exactly I do...I know that whatever I am doing and wherever I am, God is gonna do something nuts with me...I just hope I stay as open to it throughout my life...
P.S....If you have never heard of a band called the Glorious Unseen you need to check them out or I will personally cut off your ears with shears :) This song sends me into a state of worship and serenity I didn't know existed...
Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh lord
How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord have mercy on me please
My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry
::The Glorious Unseen::
::"Tonight The Stars Speak"::
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Pray Without Ceasing...
Hey...It's been a spell...And I don't know what to write about...I just feel like I should write something..........
Throughout the last week or two I have been pretty overwhelmed...School and everything that goes with it takes my life up and leaves me no time for anything...Including, it seems, God...Not that I haven't had time for God, but I have just filled my day with all kinds of "good" stuff...It's not that anything is that bad, it's just that I need to keep it centered around God instead of steering my own path through the day...
My biggest revelation has come this week though...I was stressing about prayer and about how I have a HUGE list of people to pray for and I feel like if I don't pray nothing will get done and nothing will go right...And then the light bulb went on in my head and I realized that God is not going to alter his cosmic plan just because I forgot to pray for it...Now the danger with what I just said is that people will never pray because they think it doesn't matter and God will do His thing anyways...I have no real answer for that other than to say that we shouldn't be looking for how much we can get away with, rather we should ask how much can we do to get closer to God...
I used to think that if I couldn't pray for everything that I wouldn't pray for anything...Stupid...I would need an hour or more to get through everything and I can't find that kind of time in the day sometimes...My revelation is that even though I can't spend an hour or two silent with God (it would be nice if I could though) I can be in constant prayer throughout the day...My day doesn't hinge upon a quantity of spiritual time...I should be in constant prayer and awareness of God throughout the day, praying as things come to mind and worshiping as I walk...
There is nothing wrong with a devotional time...They are still important...I just need this too...
If anything I have said is off, theologically or spiritually, etc... let me know...I am still trying to figure this out as I go...
Throughout the last week or two I have been pretty overwhelmed...School and everything that goes with it takes my life up and leaves me no time for anything...Including, it seems, God...Not that I haven't had time for God, but I have just filled my day with all kinds of "good" stuff...It's not that anything is that bad, it's just that I need to keep it centered around God instead of steering my own path through the day...
My biggest revelation has come this week though...I was stressing about prayer and about how I have a HUGE list of people to pray for and I feel like if I don't pray nothing will get done and nothing will go right...And then the light bulb went on in my head and I realized that God is not going to alter his cosmic plan just because I forgot to pray for it...Now the danger with what I just said is that people will never pray because they think it doesn't matter and God will do His thing anyways...I have no real answer for that other than to say that we shouldn't be looking for how much we can get away with, rather we should ask how much can we do to get closer to God...
I used to think that if I couldn't pray for everything that I wouldn't pray for anything...Stupid...I would need an hour or more to get through everything and I can't find that kind of time in the day sometimes...My revelation is that even though I can't spend an hour or two silent with God (it would be nice if I could though) I can be in constant prayer throughout the day...My day doesn't hinge upon a quantity of spiritual time...I should be in constant prayer and awareness of God throughout the day, praying as things come to mind and worshiping as I walk...
There is nothing wrong with a devotional time...They are still important...I just need this too...
If anything I have said is off, theologically or spiritually, etc... let me know...I am still trying to figure this out as I go...
Monday, November 10, 2008
Fleeing From Sexual Immorality...
Here you go Jerm.... :)
So throughout this school year I have steered clear of something that has brought me down in the past...This thing has been the root of my downfall into a spiral of sin-repent-sin-repent...For some reason I just decided, before I went into training to be a resident assistant at school at the end of the summer, that I just didn't want to deal with pornography anymore, and everything that goes with it. I am a junior in college now, and have a real possibility of a serious relationship sometime in the next few years...I want to honor whoever that women is with every aspect of myself...After all, I want to date a girl so centered around Christ I fall in love with the Jesus inside her...Well, if I want that in her, I need to be the same...I want her to fall in love with the Jesus inside of me...
If you don't know me, I have had a perpetual struggle with porn since I was about 10-12...It is just my main struggle in life...I know it seems super bad or way worse than some things to a lot of people, but all sin is the same in God's eyes...My sin just happens to affect someone else, someone I may not even know yet...It kills me to know I will look whoever my girlfriend is someday in the eyes and tell her how I have sold myself for something short of her in the past...I could possibly have all that crap affecting how I look at her, not because I want to or because it is supposed to be like that, but because I made stupid choices in the past...
Now I know God is bigger than anything, ever...I know he can and is helping me overcome this...Maybe he can even take away how I have this past affecting me now with girls...I know I just need to keep my eyes on God and let the rest fall into place under His plan...
Since I haven't fallen into any physical sexual temptation in so long, I find that I can look at women in a cleaner way now...I can stare at them in the face without thinking twice and let them know I am interested in who they are, not what they are...My thought life is more pure...
In church today, Pastor Mark talked about how Joseph straight up fled from Potiphar's wife...He saw temptation and just fled, before he gave himself a chance to think twice...He has every reason to give in to her, but he didn't because he was conditioned to flee temptation...He didn't make excuses or try to justify all of her advances...All he knew was God as truth and answered her with, "How could I sin against God?"
Genesis 39
The way out is the presence of God...The way out is prayer...The opposite of addiction and sin is fullness...Fullness from God is the only thing that will make it full enough to leave no room for sin...
God has entrusted me with him, which means I have been entrusted with EVERYTHING...
If you know me, keep me accountable to this...I have come to far to fail and don't want to fall back to where I was for the last 10 years...It was hell at times...This one sin, with everything that goes with it, has single-handedly kept me farther from God than any other sin in my life...
Thanks for listening to all my random thoughts...Sorry if I am too open...
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
1 Cor 6:18
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
Ephesians 5:3
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry."
Col 3:5
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality"
1 Thes 4:3
So throughout this school year I have steered clear of something that has brought me down in the past...This thing has been the root of my downfall into a spiral of sin-repent-sin-repent...For some reason I just decided, before I went into training to be a resident assistant at school at the end of the summer, that I just didn't want to deal with pornography anymore, and everything that goes with it. I am a junior in college now, and have a real possibility of a serious relationship sometime in the next few years...I want to honor whoever that women is with every aspect of myself...After all, I want to date a girl so centered around Christ I fall in love with the Jesus inside her...Well, if I want that in her, I need to be the same...I want her to fall in love with the Jesus inside of me...
If you don't know me, I have had a perpetual struggle with porn since I was about 10-12...It is just my main struggle in life...I know it seems super bad or way worse than some things to a lot of people, but all sin is the same in God's eyes...My sin just happens to affect someone else, someone I may not even know yet...It kills me to know I will look whoever my girlfriend is someday in the eyes and tell her how I have sold myself for something short of her in the past...I could possibly have all that crap affecting how I look at her, not because I want to or because it is supposed to be like that, but because I made stupid choices in the past...
Now I know God is bigger than anything, ever...I know he can and is helping me overcome this...Maybe he can even take away how I have this past affecting me now with girls...I know I just need to keep my eyes on God and let the rest fall into place under His plan...
Since I haven't fallen into any physical sexual temptation in so long, I find that I can look at women in a cleaner way now...I can stare at them in the face without thinking twice and let them know I am interested in who they are, not what they are...My thought life is more pure...
In church today, Pastor Mark talked about how Joseph straight up fled from Potiphar's wife...He saw temptation and just fled, before he gave himself a chance to think twice...He has every reason to give in to her, but he didn't because he was conditioned to flee temptation...He didn't make excuses or try to justify all of her advances...All he knew was God as truth and answered her with, "How could I sin against God?"
Genesis 39
The way out is the presence of God...The way out is prayer...The opposite of addiction and sin is fullness...Fullness from God is the only thing that will make it full enough to leave no room for sin...
God has entrusted me with him, which means I have been entrusted with EVERYTHING...
If you know me, keep me accountable to this...I have come to far to fail and don't want to fall back to where I was for the last 10 years...It was hell at times...This one sin, with everything that goes with it, has single-handedly kept me farther from God than any other sin in my life...
Thanks for listening to all my random thoughts...Sorry if I am too open...
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."
1 Cor 6:18
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
Ephesians 5:3
"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry."
Col 3:5
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality"
1 Thes 4:3
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Lord, Save Us From Your Followers...
So tonight was awesome...If you have ever heard of it, the film "Lord Save Us From Your Followers" was shown here at my school and we brought the filmmaker in with it for some Q & A...I'm telling you this film affirms me and brings me back into my mode where I think I can do crazy things for God and its ok...The documentary was pretty much challenging the way things had been done in the past or in large by the church in America today, led by the right wing evangelicals...The filmmaker, Dan Merchant went around just asking a lot of people what they thought of Christians and interviewed and featured a lot of cool things people around the country were doing for Christ, as well as showed the crap that gets represented by the church sometimes too...All the stuff people hate about the church and how it turns them off to Christianity...I don't do this thing justice by trying to explain it though...You have to watch it if you can get your hand on a copy...It's one of the best documentaries I have ever seen...
In recent times, I have really become fed up with the way the evangelical church is represented by and large here in the states...I do recognize though, that I came from the church and just ripping on it does nothing for the kingdom of God here on earth...Tony Campolo said something in the movie that struck me, "The church in America is a whore, but she is also my mother." Dead on. As screwed up as the church is, it still is God's people...I wouldn't ever leave it, after all, who is going to change it if everyone who wants the change leaves? But I have found something inside myself I lost...I used to be freaking nuts for God and had no problem thinking of doing crazy off-the-wall things that were destined to fail unless divinely intervened...I want to completely trust God first and let everything else pour out of that...I want to just put God in my sight and leave it there with nothing else on the horizon...I want to love people just because I love them...Out of God's love for me pours love for anyone, ANYONE...No matter where they are at, how poor or rich, what color they are, or how much patience they drive from my body...I want people to see my love and joy in life and attach it to God without question...This is definitely freaking hard, but sooo worth it...
"Hear O Israel, the Lord is out God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:29-31
Frick. It's so simple...How do I manage to complicate this? All I sincerely want in life is to love God and love people...It seems so weird to, but I need to ask God to help me love Him...Weird...And out of that I need to ask Him to help me see Him in everyone I see...That is by far going to be the hardest part...How did two commands given 2,000+ years ago by some Jewish carpenter get to be so hard, but yet at the same time bring the most satisfaction from life?
In recent times, I have really become fed up with the way the evangelical church is represented by and large here in the states...I do recognize though, that I came from the church and just ripping on it does nothing for the kingdom of God here on earth...Tony Campolo said something in the movie that struck me, "The church in America is a whore, but she is also my mother." Dead on. As screwed up as the church is, it still is God's people...I wouldn't ever leave it, after all, who is going to change it if everyone who wants the change leaves? But I have found something inside myself I lost...I used to be freaking nuts for God and had no problem thinking of doing crazy off-the-wall things that were destined to fail unless divinely intervened...I want to completely trust God first and let everything else pour out of that...I want to just put God in my sight and leave it there with nothing else on the horizon...I want to love people just because I love them...Out of God's love for me pours love for anyone, ANYONE...No matter where they are at, how poor or rich, what color they are, or how much patience they drive from my body...I want people to see my love and joy in life and attach it to God without question...This is definitely freaking hard, but sooo worth it...
"Hear O Israel, the Lord is out God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:29-31
Frick. It's so simple...How do I manage to complicate this? All I sincerely want in life is to love God and love people...It seems so weird to, but I need to ask God to help me love Him...Weird...And out of that I need to ask Him to help me see Him in everyone I see...That is by far going to be the hardest part...How did two commands given 2,000+ years ago by some Jewish carpenter get to be so hard, but yet at the same time bring the most satisfaction from life?
Friday, October 17, 2008
Redemption...
This isn't anything profound or whatnot, but it is a song that has been speaking to me for awhile now...It is for sure in my top 5 favorite songs of all time...This is a song called "Redemption" by the band August Burns Red...
I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath.
Purity fills my lungs.
I no longer live in solitude.
No longer bound.
My heart beats with great devotion.
This is the start to a new beginning.
On my knees praying for mercy.
Hands raised high, humble and broken. Wanting your grace.
Wanting your security.
Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside.
Soon I would end this life I was living.
I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands.
I am a fallen victim.
Lord, show me the way. I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise.
Show me the way. Take me in your arms. Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love.
Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my glory. Set me free.
:::August Burns Red:::
:::"Redemption":::
I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath.
Purity fills my lungs.
I no longer live in solitude.
No longer bound.
My heart beats with great devotion.
This is the start to a new beginning.
On my knees praying for mercy.
Hands raised high, humble and broken. Wanting your grace.
Wanting your security.
Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside.
Soon I would end this life I was living.
I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands.
I am a fallen victim.
Lord, show me the way. I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise.
Show me the way. Take me in your arms. Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love.
Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my glory. Set me free.
:::August Burns Red:::
:::"Redemption":::
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)