Wake Up The Sun...

It's like screaming your head off and no one can hear...

Actually, that's exactly what it is.

I can see the potential inside of me, but I can't get it to come out all the time...And then I wrestle with wondering if my vision of me is even close to God's vision of me...Obviously I can never see the full potential of what God wants me to be, nor would I ever know one hundred percent if I was there, but man alive do I want to live for more than I am sometimes...

I can feel something inside me that can change the world for Christ...Not in a selfish way, but under the grace and mercy of God, provided he chooses to use me in whatever endeavor I partake in...And what an honor it is to be used by God, for anything, big or small...

But do you get what I am saying? I've said it before...I want so badly to do something that is destined to fail unless God intervenes...

Sadly, I am not willing to be patient enough sometimes...I am not willing to be disciplined enough...I am not willing to quiet myself and listen...I am not willing to pour into His word to find my place in this grand scheme of life...

What a wretch I am.

But He saved this wretch.

He still wants me to do His work.

He still wants me to carry Him inside me.

But more importantly, He simply wants me to love Him, and love others.

See, I get ahead of myself...I want to do the "cool" "fun" work, without doing the "harder" more "disciplined" work...I want to have my cake and eat it too...

Yes He has grace and forgives me, but that gives me no excuse to sit and do nothing, expecting to be used for great things when I am not as willing as I say I am...

However, this does not change the fact there is a passion inside of me, and maybe you, to change the world...And by world, that could mean anything from the smallest of families to the largest of countries and continents...We could live our entire lives and never see the fruits of our labor...But would it still be worth it?

Of course.

There is no question.

But now we must wake up.

We must not sit down and be idle any longer.

I cannot sit down and be idle any longer.

We must rise from the dead.

I SIMPLY WANT TO BE ALIVE.



"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Ephesians 5:14

The Summer Continues...

Finally.

I feel like I am progressing and growing.

Not that I hadn't before, I think we grow everyday...I really do...But I have this problem with believing that I am moving in forward motion in my life sometimes...I tend to feel as if I am failing at something or I am failing to be someone...

I am my own worst enemy...Whether it is myself or Satan telling me that I am not good enough for what I do, I listen more than I should...

This summer though, has taught me a lot about myself, and how to lead and communicate...See, my normal means of communication are not the most effective all the time, and especially in the position of leadership I am in this summer...Different people means different personalities, and some of those personalities are different than what I normally have this close to me...

But let me say that it is not easy to adapt/change/switch/think differently...When I have those miscommunications or read a situation in a way it was not meant to be read, I get discouraged and think I am failing...Not true though...

I am a point where I have realized that all the hard times and all the times where I feel as if I am not doing well are times where I grow and learn the most, and where God gets to be involved even more...

Of course God should be involved in every second of my life...But sometimes I don't let him in, or I take charge for awhile and think I know what is best...

But my track record when I take charge of my life and end up successful turns out to be a big zero.

See, my lack of confidence in myself does NOT come from God...That would be against His nature...There is no way God wants to make me feel like an ant...I feel like that already when I look at the stars...He wants me to recognize my weakness though, and let him become the strength in that...

I know I will continue to be pushed and stretched as the summer progresses...I know I will have hard days, and days where I feel ineffective...But I know I will also have days where I feel on top of the world and like I am right where God wants me...

Either way, God is in control...

Whether you believe it or not.



"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:10