Sustain...

Man, sometimes you just have those days...You ever have those days where you just feel emotional is every way you possibly can? About everything...School, future, girls, and everything that falls under it...For some reason I've been sitting there for a few days...This past Friday the band The Glorious Unseen came to my school (Spring Arbor University) for a worship night...It was soo great...These guys are legit and have their hearts in the right place...They sound what I have dreamed about my ideal worship sounding like for the last six years...To top it off they are super chill and were cool before and after the "concert"...

Since that night, I have realized just how large my desire is to tour in a band...As naive and immature as it can sound, I seriously just want to go and play music with a bunch of dudes after college...Share apart of who I am with people and have them connect in their own way with it...

I struggle with knowing if this is part of God's plan...Trusting Him is so hard sometimes...I'm sure maybe you know what I'm talking about...I know I don't the future...But I cannot deny that I have this innate desire in me for music...I know that desire is from God...I can't get away from that...And everytime I see a band live I just want it so much more...Especially after this Friday...The Glorious Unseen knows how to connect with the emotion and the little nuances behind the music...The little things that cause us to worship God in a raw, authentic way...Not that they are the only ones getting it right, It's just that they are on the top of my list...

I love music. I love playing guitar. I love people. I love sharing who I am. I love sitting with my eyes closed while listening to music, going to a place that I know cannot physically being touched...

Matthew 6:33 is a staple verse for me right now: "Seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

So hard to believe one-hundred percent of the time...





If I scream Your name again
Will you reach my bloody hands?
God I'm holding on to You
For You can make me new
If I scream Your name again
Will you reach my bloody hands?
God I'm holding to Your arms
I've been holding on so long

::The Glorious Unseen::
::"Sustain"::

The Paradox of Prayer...

This Henri Nouwen quote is what one of my classes this semester has as included content...The professor believes without a shadow of a doubt that prayer is central to anything else in the Christian life...Everything else falls under prayer...I really hope to fully be in that mindset by the end of the class...Prayer is admittedly one of my weakest points as a followers of Christ...

"The paradox of prayer is that we have to learn how to pray while we can only receive it as a gift. It is exactly this paradox that clarifies why prayer is the subject of so many seemingly contrasting statements. All the great saints in history and all the spiritual directors worth their salt say that we have to learn to pray, since prayer is our first obligation as well as our highest calling. Libraries have been written about the question of how to pray. Many and men and women have tried to articulate the different forms and levels of their impressive experiences, and have encouraged their readers to follow their road. They remind us repeatedly of St. Paul's words: 'Pray constantly' (1 Thes. 5:7), and often give elaborate instructions on how to develop an intimate relationship with God. They say that we cannot truly pray by ourselves, but that it is God's spirit who prays in us. St. Paul put it very clearly, 'No one can say, "Jesus is Lord" unless he is under the influence of the Holy Spirit' (1 Cor. 12:3). We cannot force God into a relationship. God comes to us on his initiative, and no discipline, effort, or ascetic practice can make him come. All mystics stress with an impressive unanimity that prayer is 'grace,' that is, a free gift from God, to which we can only respond with gratitude."

-Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out, p.123-124