Seek God First...

So, this year so far has definitely been way different than any of the past...I am basically in a full time leadership position, and it's considered a job by title...Of course I don't think of it like that, but I have never been paid to invest in lives before...It's kind of cool...Also something I have been realizing is that I have not been trusting God with my future like I thought...One of the areas revolves around girls...I have never dated as a Christian, and I really saw myself cruising through school single, which I have no problem with...My problem lies in the fact that I kept feeling this pressure by something, maybe campus, maybe the nice atmosphere, I can't quite put my finger on it...I kept feeling like I was supposed to be pursuing girls...Not saying that it is wrong to do so, but I was starting to lose my view of trusting in God for the future...I want so badly to have a God-centered relationship to the fullest that I am scared out of my mind to date...There are a few girls here on campus I would love to get to know better, because in no way do I know them well enough to think about dating them...But then I think about other areas...Am I to marry a girl from home? From high school? Someone I don't even know yet? I hate not knowing the future, yet I love the mystery...What I am realizing is that my problem lies in my lack of seeking God and nothing else...Matthew 6 tells to seek God first and all other things will fall into place...Where did I lose that mindset? So much pressure gets taken off that God did not intend me to have...I won't think the girl problem is such a big deal because God's plan is bigger than everything going on around me...I long to be in the middle of that plan, not just for the girl issue, but for everything else as well...This is weird...I haven't had the girl issue at the forefront like this for a long time...I haven't made a big deal about it before...Never was worried...Basically I want to flat out just seek God and not worry about anything else...I want my longing for God to radiate and attract anyone for anything...If I want to have a wife someday with these traits I admire, I better make dang sure I have them too...


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11


Why is it so hard to trust that?

Cruising Along...

So it's been a bit since I let you all know how things are going...I'm freaking loving my RA job here at school currently...I have a huge range of personalities and its totally cool...Every guy so far thinks I'm cool (Shh....Don't let them know the truth :) But it's just cool to have guys that hang and love being around you and each other...They are from all walks of faith too...I have some dudes who just don't give a rip about God...And I have a couple dudes who put my faith to shame...It's solid...From my "outside" perspective, I can see some of how God is working and moving and how his plan is...I can see why certain people maybe were put here on this floor and why certain roommates are paired...Now I obviously don't know everything going on in God's head, but it's just cool to see how God works and then responding to that...I will talk to dudes about their personal life, about their girlfriends back home...About what they want to be...About how they like this college...About the sport they play here...It's amazing to me how open people will get when you just make them feel comfortable where they are at...Maybe that is part of the problem with how we go about Christianity today, especially in America...We think we are going to bring someone into a church they have never been in and have been slightly scared of, and we think we can convert them in 5 minutes...A personal relationship with Jesus takes time to grow...You don't become the thirteenth disciple overnight...I think that is how we have to approach anyone at all...It's gonna take some freaking time to get close enough to someone so that you can share things about God that you really wanted them to know in the first twenty minutes you knew them...They weren't ready then and we just need to practice something that we all suck at: Patience...Waiting for God's will is probably one the crappiest most beautiful things ever... God's timing is perfect...We have to be able to see the spectrum of that and how we fit in the middle of the beginning and end...We need to realize that our timing here is a blip in the grand scheme...Investing a year or two, or more in someone's life with no strings attached is nothing compared to what the end result will be because of that investment...Stop caring for ourselves and possessions and start caring for people...Wherever they are in life...It is kind of what Jesus did...Where have we gone wrong? When did we lose sight of what mattered? I struggle with this everyday...I am guilty as you...Seriously have some prayer for it in your life, for people close to you on this...I want to stop caring for bullcrap that doesn't matter and start caring for eternal stuff...

Thanks for listening...

Here We Go...

So...My floor here at school is insane...75 % of them are loud, stay up late and love to talk...Move in day was nuts...I don't sleep anymore...And I love it...I have 25 freshmen out of 28 total dudes on the floor...At one time on move in day there were 17 families moving there kids in at once...Packed...I had to get out of there and get some food...My good buddy Austin covered for me...

So far, even after only 2 nights with these guys I love them...I know God put love in my heart for them even before they came here...I know they will look up to me in some facet, no matter how short I am :) I realize I will have to watch how I do some things and make sure I am a good example...What is so cool about that is that it is keeping me accountable for my actions...I know I need to watch what I do therefore I watch...I love it...I am the kind of person who thrives when people look up to me, and I want to lead them down a good path and be there friend, mentor, brother...I am staying clean as of late and not so much feel God around more, but I am more aware of the truth that he is there and that all I have to do is ask, pray and believe for him to lead me down his will's path...I know I will develop relationships with some of these guys that may last a very long time...I want them to be genuine relationships that I would be proud to say God is a part of, in whatever way that may be...So therefore I officially start this year as the RA of Ormston 4 at Spring Arbor University...I know there will be rough times when I don't want to do the hard stuff, but I know they will be outweighed by what God accomplished through me on this floor...Amen.