How familiar is this for you: You "screw up" or sin in a "big" way, and then you feel ashamed and wait a few days or until you "feel better" about it to talk to God...
Well, it's familiar for me...And something I want no part of anymore...
I've messed up bigtime in my life...In ways very few, if any, of you know...Even after I found God in high school some of my old vices stayed with me and I did not trust God to deliver me through...I relied on the flesh and thought I could handle it...
This in turn has make me think a lot about grace in my life...I don't feel as if I should be coming to God with my crap sometimes...Like I have to follow a formula or be a better whatever before I can speak...But come on, we all know that is a lie ...For He is the author of our lives and is impossible to hide anything from...Satan will make you and I feel like we have no business with God over even the smallest thing...
But check out 1 Timothy 1:15-16
This is nothing most of us have not heard before...In our heads we know that Jesus Christ died so that we may live a crazy life...But do we believe it in our hearts? Do I truly let my head and heart knowledge connect?
See, there is no way Timothy didn't know what Paul was telling him here...Timothy, while young, was a leader in the church and knew that Christ died for sinners and rose from the dead, for that is the very foundation of Christianity...Paul didn't need to tell Timothy that...But he did...Why? It has to be important then...
See, Paul admits he is the worst of sinners, and he was, so to say...He killed people who died for Jesus, a man he would end up suffering for himself...But Paul recognizes the mercy he was shown in order for Christ Jesus to be displayed...Paul recognizes that he is but a mere tool used by God in this world to do His will, and he counts it as a huge privilege...
This "trustworthy saying" is the very hinge that Paul puts his life, and finds it important enough to state to someone who already knew it...
What do you already "know" that needs to be said and/or reiterated in your life? Do you need to be called out on sin that no one knows about? Do you need to sit and hear the gospel message again in order to find your roots again? Do you need to get away from people and sit in the middle of a field or on a hill watching the sunset and stars to remember that we are NOTHING, but God still chooses us and wants us...Maybe sit there and do nothing except silently worship while you stare millions of miles away...Or maybe just sit and listen...
See, Grace is something that is hard to grab...I think I need to earn my life...It's how I was brought up...But dang it man, it's free.
My times when I "feel-bad" and don't want to talk to God because I have "screwed-up big" are nothing for God to wash over...No way does this excuse me to abuse the grace again, but my pity feelings are such a slap in the face to God, so to say, that I may as well spit at the foot of the cross he was nailed to...
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'"
2 Corinthians 12:9
So, I am weak. It is true. I have no power in my own self to withstand temptation.
But the same power that conquered the grave now lives in me.
And you too, if you have chosen to follow Jesus Christ until the day you die here.
There is NOTHING you can do to to get away from God.
NOTHING.
WE SEEM TO THINK THAT THIS ABUNDANT GRACE CANNOT WIPE AWAY OUR DARK SIN.
I don't care what you have done, who you hurt, and if God is the one you have hurt the most...His graceful love goes beyond what your human mind can hold onto...
Sorry you and I can't understand that fully.
You won't be able to.
So don't think you can.
Just accept it...Even if you hate free things, charity, or handouts.
Swallow your pride.
It's not worth keeping anyways.
"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience and an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
1 Timothy 1:15-17
