Sunday, November 15, 2009

Everything Starts Where It Ends...

There is a place and time where you grab for everything and come back with nothing...When all you hope for and all you dream of can be seen in the distance, but stays on the horizon and sets with the sun as the day becomes night...When everything you want to happen becomes but a mere vision as you realize it is not what is best for the greater mass of humanity...For who are we to determine the stones upon which we step? We can choose them sure, but we didn't put them there in the first place...

Why are the emotions and feelings we have so disconnected with reality sometimes? We love what we love for a reason, that holds true, but we also do not get along with patience...When we feel as if we will burst, we hold back and keep it to ourselves, choosing to share little if nothing of what we truly feel...We are afraid to become vulnerable...We are afraid to fail...We are afraid that our true self is not good enough...We are afraid that our true self is our true self...For who we are and what we want to be is not in vain...Sure we're human and can be misguided, but we are who we are...

But we must start with today.

If we look ahead too far, we miss the grace offered in the very breath we take every other second...No matter if we hate or love that very moment...We are not accidents...We are on purpose...

We struggle everyday to believe what we tell ourselves is truth...We struggle every day to believe in what Truth is...We have believed what a temporal source has said about eternal matters...We have believed our own worst enemy sometimes, ourselves...

We see life as a timeline, with a start and an end, with a little fluff in the middle...But maybe we should see life as a winding road...A path that never stays in a rigid, structured line...Climbing over mountains, jumping off cliffs, running in a field, sitting and starting as the very expanse above that seems to give even more freedom to the journey than could ever be conceived at the beginning...Where we get lost in our thoughts, and lost in the wonder of how we found ourselves without ever speaking a word...Without ever hearing a word...In the quiet of the nothingness we see a light...And then a few more...Soon the nothingness is alive with the breath of a Creator, and our breath in gone...We no longer feel that we are worthy to breath the very air surrounding us...

This is the place where we truly find ourselves...

This is where we no longer live for anything but what can fill us whole...

This is where we started.

This is where we live.

This is where we end.





"SOMETHING SACRED IS AT STAKE IN EVERY MOMENT."
-Abraham Heschel