Lord, Save Us From Your Followers...

So tonight was awesome...If you have ever heard of it, the film "Lord Save Us From Your Followers" was shown here at my school and we brought the filmmaker in with it for some Q & A...I'm telling you this film affirms me and brings me back into my mode where I think I can do crazy things for God and its ok...The documentary was pretty much challenging the way things had been done in the past or in large by the church in America today, led by the right wing evangelicals...The filmmaker, Dan Merchant went around just asking a lot of people what they thought of Christians and interviewed and featured a lot of cool things people around the country were doing for Christ, as well as showed the crap that gets represented by the church sometimes too...All the stuff people hate about the church and how it turns them off to Christianity...I don't do this thing justice by trying to explain it though...You have to watch it if you can get your hand on a copy...It's one of the best documentaries I have ever seen...

In recent times, I have really become fed up with the way the evangelical church is represented by and large here in the states...I do recognize though, that I came from the church and just ripping on it does nothing for the kingdom of God here on earth...Tony Campolo said something in the movie that struck me, "The church in America is a whore, but she is also my mother." Dead on. As screwed up as the church is, it still is God's people...I wouldn't ever leave it, after all, who is going to change it if everyone who wants the change leaves? But I have found something inside myself I lost...I used to be freaking nuts for God and had no problem thinking of doing crazy off-the-wall things that were destined to fail unless divinely intervened...I want to completely trust God first and let everything else pour out of that...I want to just put God in my sight and leave it there with nothing else on the horizon...I want to love people just because I love them...Out of God's love for me pours love for anyone, ANYONE...No matter where they are at, how poor or rich, what color they are, or how much patience they drive from my body...I want people to see my love and joy in life and attach it to God without question...This is definitely freaking hard, but sooo worth it...


"Hear O Israel, the Lord is out God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these."
Mark 12:29-31


Frick. It's so simple...How do I manage to complicate this? All I sincerely want in life is to love God and love people...It seems so weird to, but I need to ask God to help me love Him...Weird...And out of that I need to ask Him to help me see Him in everyone I see...That is by far going to be the hardest part...How did two commands given 2,000+ years ago by some Jewish carpenter get to be so hard, but yet at the same time bring the most satisfaction from life?

Redemption...

This isn't anything profound or whatnot, but it is a song that has been speaking to me for awhile now...It is for sure in my top 5 favorite songs of all time...This is a song called "Redemption" by the band August Burns Red...


I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath.
Purity fills my lungs.
I no longer live in solitude.
No longer bound.
My heart beats with great devotion.
This is the start to a new beginning.
On my knees praying for mercy.
Hands raised high, humble and broken. Wanting your grace.
Wanting your security.
Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside.
Soon I would end this life I was living.
I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands.
I am a fallen victim.
Lord, show me the way. I ask of you Father, let my words be your words.
Let my thoughts be your thoughts.
To you, I give my praise.
Show me the way. Take me in your arms. Never let me go.
Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you.
Never let me go.
Hold me with your everlasting love.
Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my glory. Set me free.

:::August Burns Red:::
:::"Redemption":::

Prayer Life...

Yo...Welcome back to my life...The last week/two weeks has been alright...What's funny is, I am sitting here not exactly sure of what to write about...That's weird...Usually I can't shut up...Maybe that's part of the problem...Lately I have heard some things about prayer and how important it is to spiritual life...One of my professors says that you can tell, for the most part, the state of someone's spiritual life by their prayer life...I sat there and mulled over those words when he spoke them, realizing the lie I was living...I sometimes think I am doing well spiritually, but I have almost no prayer associated with it...I fill my life up with "Jesus Things" and put a label on it that says "Good Christian Work"...There are so many things I need to be in prayer for: The guys on my floor, my unsaved family, my best friends and the stuff in their lives, stuff in my own life...I think that God will just take care of stuff automatically, which can be true sometimes, but I also realize God is waiting for me to ask for stuff He has in store...He gives us free will, ergo He will not force us to do most things...

Then it hits me that prayer is a two way activity...I must listen as well as speak...James calls the tongue evil, and that's what I feel like mine has brought in on occasion...I have failed to just sit and bask in the presence of God waiting for Him to speak without my interference...And then I walk through my day not entirely positive if I am following his plan for the day...Now I know it isn't as simple as A-B-C...Like God has this perfect plan for the day and I have to follow it second by second, word for word...But I know I need to sit there the day before so I can walk the next day more open to little prods from God throughout the day...

I know He hasn't stopped doing amazing things with my life, they just seem a little farther away since my prayer life has slacked...I refuse to call that a coincidence...He wants to talk to us, just like a best friend you may have that you haven't seen in months...He wants to just be with us and help us along this journey called life...We can be in tune with him throughout the day while "Praying without ceasing", but we must also take that time where we just sit and meditate on God, The Word, And what our day was like...

This amazes me: After Jesus fed the five thousand, he retreated by himself to pray...Before he went into the desert for 40 days, he fasted and prayed...Get that? He got ready for something with prayer and fasting...What am I to do if I haven't prayed and such and something big comes along? Prayer should be a daily thing for the sake of daily stuff yes, but we also need to be in communication with God so we can better handle the crap that is coming our way...

I don't know if any of this fits or makes sense, but its what has jumped into my head...