The Power of Christ Compels You...

My friends...I have just experienced something so incredible and insane that I really don't think words will do it justice...It's 3:30 am and I just can't sleep....here's why...By the way, this may be a long story...

So...At school (Spring Arbor) there are these student run and led worship programs...Wednesday night is called Deeper, Thursday night has The Call and/or Consuming Fire...They're just at different locations around campus and such...Well, tonight I went to Consuming Fire, which is one that is more focused on spiritual gifts...We first started with some worship which was cool...There was a lot of crazy worship going on...i.e. dancing, yelling, praying...all at once...It was cool...Then the professor who was in charge of the thing stood up front and said some stuff about getting the chaff out of your life and letting God cleanse you through an through...He then called his ministry team he had of about eight students to the front and told everyone else that if they wanted to be anointed and prayed for, to come up front and have one of the ministry students pray over them...A good number went to the front and the praying began and worship music still played...Through this I kept wondering if I should go up and get some prayer...I also was waiting for an open person to pray with...When one finally did open I stalled for a minute and then said screw it....I went up to a dude named Frank who lives on the floor above me...I told him that I needed prayer because I keep bouncing around in the "Sin-Repent-Sin-Repent-Sin-Repent" mode, and also that I knew faith was not based on feeling, but I really just wanted to feel God for real, because it had been almost like 3 years since I had ligitimately felt God...So, Frank anointed me and started to pray that I be cleansed and handed over to God and that He could help me stop my pattern of sin-repent-repeat...He prayed that I would feel God in my life like never before...

Then something goofy happend...My neck started to lower and I bowed my head without actually making an effort to...I started to shake just a bit and lose a little strength in my limbs...I had no clue what to think...I had never had this happen before...So Frank kept praying and I slowly started to lean back, so I caught myself with my back foot...Then I did it again...Next two more guys ame over and prayed over me with Frank...One prayed that I would just let go and not fight it anymore...So, when I leaned back again, as much as I maybe could have stopped myself if I really, really, really wanted to, and if I would have tried insanely hard, I really didn't want to and just fell and they caught me and lowered me to the ground...Like, my whole body went limp, but it wasn't heavy at all...Just like I was falling on a cloud...Then they continued to pray over me as I lay on the ground with my mind racing as to what was going on...Pretty much the Holy Spirit moved...I just prayed to God that He take me and cleanse me where I was...I didn't want the crap in there clogging up the clean stuff...After a few minutes I stood up, hugged Frank, and realized I was a little off-balance...I had some trouble standing, and walking back to my seat I was a little wobbly...I just laid on the floor at my seat in awe of what happened and prayed to God like crazy that He just take all of me and change me in an insane way...Shoot, my legs are still a wee bit like jello as I sit here typing....

I just sat there for awhile contemplating, praying, and going insane over what happened...I started to shake some and shiver and chatter my teeth like I was cold...Only thing was...I wasn't cold...The room temp was fine...For some reason I could not physically settle down...I chilled there for a little bit more, got prayed over again by one dude, and prayed with another...I haven't prayed that much in a long, long, time...So I left and went for a walk with God...Stood out in a field, looked at the stars, and raised my arms up as if God would beam me up...Kinda goofy, but hey, I really wanted, and still want God to just take all of me, even if I can't feel Him all the time...

I know in a few days this feeling may wear off...and I have to be equipped and ready to stay on track with God by obedience...That means devotions everyday...Praying randomly everywhere...Almost changing my mindset to one of complete sight on God and what He has planned for me that day...Changing my attitude into positive all the time so as to rub off on people...Act like a freaking Christian is supposed to act and stop messing around with my eternal life...

Lopsided Relationships...

So...Here I am at college finally...Not just commuting...A week or so in and really liking it so far...Pretty much convinced that even though I would do great at a few other places...I am best fit here in Spring Arbor...The first week was easy...Almost no classes and lots of time to hang with people and such...Then classes started and I realized how hard it was to get homework done in a dorm...Distractions everywhere...I really am having to learn how to find some quiet space to get crap done...Classes are awesome though...Loving how we pray before every class almost and study the Bible...Are you kidding? Everywhere I have gone to school before you can't really use the Bible as a base source of truth and knowledge...Also, really loving this whole chapel thing we do twice a week...I mean, classes are scheduled around worshipping God in song with 1200 people...How freaking awesome is that? So many people not caring about who's watching them and just worshipping God because they want to...Monday at chapel Tony Campola spoke and the place was rocked...He challenged the junk out of us to start caring for the poor and widowed and to use the education we are going to get to change the world...It really made me sure I was not wasting my time and money being at Spring Arbor needlessly...I am here to use what knowledge I am gaining to change the world for God...That is worth any sum of money in my eyes...

Now...what has happened in the last few hours is really awesome...I went to this thing called Deeper in the student center tonight...It's a student lead worship time and in depth Bible study with out chaplain Ron Kopicko...I have been struggling for a bit on finding God and being the way I used to be in my faith...On fire going nuts for God and everyone knowing it...I have noticed and been told I am not as joyful as I used to be...I guess I saw it, but unconsciously ignored it...Tonight Ron spoke of wanting to be in a relationship for what we can get out of it...I mean, you wouldn't want to be dating someone who is only dating for them to get something from you right? A little one-sided...You wouldn't marry someone half-heartedly or want them doing the same to you...Why then, do we do that with God? Why do just use Him for stuff when we need it? Why do we want God around to make our lives "easier" instead of just simply wanting to be with Him? Why can't we look in the Bible and see where it says to go out and make disciples? Why can't we start thinking less about ourselves and more about how God wants to use us to change this world for Him...He wants us to be self-less people who are looking for ways to serve others and show true love the way the Acts church did...Not people in a building listening to some dude in front talk and walk out the doors as if life was the same...No way you shouldn't be changed when you listen to God's word...If you are stagnant after something like that...Then you either didn't listen or need a reality check on who God is in your life...

And that, my friends, is where I have been...I have been in the faith for what I can get out of it...How many people notice me doing good things...How good I look...How I look when I worship...How I think someone thinks of me...I, I, I, I...see the pattern? (thanks Aunt Connie :) We have made our relationship with God so much about ourselves and what we can get out of it that we have missed every opportunity God placed on our doorstep to serve and spread his love...

So I took a little walk after Deeper tonight and God and I talked...I talked a little more (something I have to work on also) and I just apologized for being so self-centered and asked Him to let me in on His plan and change my heart to that of a servant and show me how to show others what it means to follow the creator of this freaking universe...I used to be like that once...And people noticed...Not in a selfish way am I proud they noticed, but more along the lines of me being glad to point to God and say this is why I am...This is why I wake up everyday and love myself and love who I am...

God can do some insane things...Whether they are seen by other humans or not should be insignificant...It shouldn't matter who sees what as long as your heart is set on God and you know what you do you do for God...And that my friends, is the only thing that will last forever...