There's No Place I Would Rather Be...

There’s no place I’d rather be,
There’s no place I’d rather be,
There’s no place I’d rather be,
Than here in Your Love.
Here in Your Love.

Set a fire down in my Soul
That I can’t contain and I can’t control.
I want more of You, God I want more of You, God.







amen.

Nothing Else Matters.

"He has cheated Hell and seated us above the fall.
In desperate places He paid our wages one time once and for all"

::John Mark McMillan::
::"Death In His Grave"::



"But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith."
::1 Corinthians 15:12-14::





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJDguHJ34SE

The Lion.

"'Is- he a man?' asked Lucy.

'Aslan a man!' said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion- the lion, the great Lion.'

'Ooh!'said Susan, 'I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.'

'That you will dearie, and no mistake' said Mrs. Beaver; 'if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than me or else just silly.'

'Then he isn't safe?' asked Lucy.

'Safe?' said Mr. Beaver. 'Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.'"

::C.S. Lewis
::The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe



I am the son of the Most High King.

Prone To Wander...

Brokenness is not weakness...Weakness is not evil...Weakness is not even weak...Please, please, give up your false notion that you have to be strong all the time...You cannot do it...You are prone to wandering and fading...You are not above sin...

I am prone to wandering...I try to hide my weakness...I fail...

Give it up.

Please.

Let it go.

Hold onto something that will not fail, falter, wander, give way or ever be weak.


Ever.



Be man enough to admit you can't do it alone.




"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." _2 Corinthians 12:9-10_

Character & Integrity...

It has been one long dang time since I have written anything...

Another year older today...College over...Job hunting...Life...Alas...

I was given the opportunity to speak to a student body of fifteen hundred on my last day of chapel in my undergraduate career...I read and listened back over it recently and needed to hear the truths I spoke again for myself...Kind of a weird feeling getting told a new one by yourself...Anyways, here it is...Remember I am as broken as the next person and have trouble following my own advice...

-----------

Hi. I’m Jake and I think it’s funny when people get coffee drinks with skim milk and then ask for whip cream. I also want to ask you all to open your Bibles to Jeremiah 29:11 as I give a sermon taking the verse completely out of context…Just kidding…However, I am a senior who is about to walk at graduation this Saturday. In light of that, here’s a few things I have thought about, learned, observed, lived out, and not lived out, in my time here at college…
I’ve learned that character and integrity are much more important than they get credit for…I’ve learned that life is an inside job and we are not victims. Everyone has their own junk…On the outside we deal with those weaknesses by blaming things around ourselves, when we are truly the idiot… The problem is that we have to admit we are the idiot and we have to admit we want to change ourselves…
See, character is who you are when no one is looking. So let’s start with this. If I sign a contract that says I will follow certain guidelines while at this school, but break a few I personally disagree with, then my character is flawed in some way. See, I signed the contract, a bond, that said I would keep my word. I don’t care if you don’t agree with some of the rules, you still agreed to follow them. For the record, I am personally not above anyone for having followed or not followed the handbook while here. It’s not even about the typed ink on the paper anyway guys, and if you think it is, then you are missing it.
Not entirely related….Girls, I probably can’t fully understand what it means to have to wait on guys for us to take the initiative, but I do see some of the great lengths you girls go to wanting to get our attention. While it initially may be something you want, how you dress matters. Some of us want to treat you as God intended, we truly desire that, but when you’re not intentional in a positive way with the way you dress, as an example, you send us mixed messages. Respect yourself enough to not give us what our male desire wants. Save yourself for somebody. It’s worth it. It really is.
Guys, just because girls show you some cleavage or dress in other immodest ways, doesn’t give you an excuse to have a lack of self-control. However, all of us are tempted to act on carnal urges, in which we tend to treat women as objects if we let go on control and intentionality. But real men rise above carnal urges and treat women well; in a way they deserve. It takes a real man to have self-control and go completely against how culture says to look at women. And once again, I personally am not above this. I speak to you from a place of forced humility, as God has brought me, dragged me, a loooong way to where I am today. And if you guys don’t think that pornography will affect you, mentally and physically, the rest of your life, then you are dead. wrong. Every time you settle for a fake image of God’s beautiful creation, you create an expectation your wife will never live up to, because porn isn’t real love. Never, ever, sacrifice your future on the altar of the immediate.
Honestly guys, I want to be a perfect man, a man wholly surrendered to God…I really desire that…I desire to have solid character and integrity, and I do fail. You need to know that.…But, if we become a community that is seeking character moment by moment, then we become a people who can transform little tiny Spring Arbor…Jackson…Michigan…The U.S…The world…for Christ…We don’t become impactful when it is eleven o’clock at night and we’re in our third hour of Call of Duty or Halo, with two more to go…We don’t become impactful when it’s eleven o’clock at night and we have spent the last two hours gossiping about who we think is worth less than us on this campus…
We are impactful when we are followers of Christ cleverly disguised as something…I hope to be a follower of Christ disguised as a resident director of a college next year…I also still want to change the world…I want to do something that is bound to fail unless God intervenes…However, I have to change myself to the likeness of Christ before I can change the world…It’s an inside out job…
I was an RA for a year and half here, and the reason it was only one and a half years was because I tried to form myself from the outside in…I let my personality and reputation carry me into a second year of student leadership, and when I could no longer hide from my awful grades that were not characteristic of a committed student, I had to be let go of my position. In the middle of the year…I’m kind of embarrassed to share this too…It sucked. It really did. I cried for the first time in three or four years that night…I wish I would have had the depth of character to avoid that…God did use it…But I am telling you because we mature a little bit more when we spew our crap…
I mature a little bit more when I recognize my depravity and get in front of someone who loves me enough to tell me I’m an idiot, in love…James 5:16: Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” The person whom you confess to won’t let you off the hook, but they won’t beat you up either…And you can’t jump into the listener’s seat without ever having sat in the confessor’s seat…
For those of you going into ministry of any kind this summer, you are all followers of Christ cleverly disguised as a counselor, foreman, director, coach, lifeguard, and so on…Don’t say you are going to a camp this summer to get changed, or that you will get changed on whatever summer trip you have planned…Get changed now, with your roommate, with your best friend, with people whom you are close to…And do it today.
For everyone in this room, whether you care about God or not, it’s time to acknowledge the struggle. Everyone on this campus has crap?, from freshmen to the administration…You are not alone. You are also not as strong as you think, so stop thinking you are. Right now. Right this second. Stop pretending you have it together…Come on, no one does…But be encouraged in the community of brokenness that exists all around you. We all suck at life sometimes, but we are dragged back to our feet by God and each other.
As you leave Spring Arbor someday, leave a mark, not just a reputation…Leave having been a servant, rather than being served…Will you leave and have at least one person say you really impacted their life for Christ? Or will they say something like, “Man, you really knew how to party hard?”
Desire to be a man or woman of character and integrity. Work hard for it. Be intentional. And refuse to be complacent. To quote one of my favorite verses from Ephesians: “Wake up O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

The Same Mistake...

"But if this love changes everything, then with this love, you know that I can't afford to make the same mistake."

:::The Wedding- "The Same Mistake":::




Just trying to put the past in the past eh?

Don't be defined by your past mistakes.

They have shaped you, sure.

But they have not defined you.

Christ has defined you.

Ask Him about you sometime.

And don't expect a heavenly, angelic voice from the sky to answer (although that is possible).

Expect Him to answer from the mouths of those around you.

So shut up and listen.

Wolves, Sheep, and The Lamb...

Night like the cunning wolf comes to swallow your soul
And in his vacant heart lies a hate that’s so cold
The fallen lives are covered beneath the dark abyss
But the sheep’s wool is pure because the shepherd’s selflessness

He guards the weak and in need
Through his light all the wayward will see
With his staff he protects and makes free
So surrender a life incomplete

Now with a heart of grace
Speaking words of hope,
We’ll show the lost your faith
We’ll take the road less traveled-
The shepherd’s marked his way
We’ll take the road less traveled-
The shepherd’s marked his way

So trace these lines and he’ll guide you home
The lamb will finish this race for your soul
The lamb will finish this race for your soul

So hold fast to this
And know that victory
Is just a step away
Lay down your burdens
And let his promise heal within
To make you feel alive

Now you’re finding out, the voice inside you
The one that keeps on holding you back
It guides you wayward and takes you far from
It takes you far from this beaten path

I can see you’re just a wolf in sheep’s clothing
Because your tempting ways give you away
But I’m alive because the grace that dwells within me
A hope that carries me along everyday

EVERYDAY

So let Your grace and mercy fall like rain
The wolves may scar and hunt you down
But the Truth will still come out
Follow close and open up your heart to hear
His words will hold you close and chase away your fear

Death where is your sting?
Death where is your sting?
I tell you the mystery
Graves are but mere tombs
Graves are but mere tombs
Tombs that last three days

The Furious Love of God...

This post is brought on by The Furious Longing of God by: Brennan Manning...

First of all, what does the furious longing of God mean to me? What does it mean to be longed after and loved by God in a furious way?

I have little idea.

Maybe I should have a better idea?

With some years of high school and college ministry and four years studying ministry at a Christian university "under my belt", maybe I should know more...Maybe my confidence should be a little higher...Maybe my doubt a little less...

But maybe not.

If I am honest, I have trouble knowing what it means to love God and be loved by Him...

Thankfully, my opinion and personal experience does not change the Truth that exists...The Truth that God seeks us with a furious longing so full of aching passion that it would literally crumble us if we were to experience it at capacity...God desires to be in this union with us, and the apostle Paul expressed this in Galatians when he says, "It is no longer I who lives, but Christ lives in me." (2:20)

"Jesus came not only for those who skip morning meditations, but also for real sinners, thieves, adulterers, and terrorists, for those caught up in sqaulid choices and failed dreams." (Manning 32)

"I have come to call not the self-righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:13

For the longest time I put pressure on myself...If I missed daily quiet times or didn't feel as if my worship was authentic I beat myself up, adding to the guilt and fear already residing inside my head...Obviously those feelings are not of God...

My view of God was, and still is limited...I put his love in a box that was not fit to hold even the dirty laundry I take home to wash for free...I lived by the definition I made for something I was not created to define in the first place...

If I really think about it though, if I were to have power over God's love, then I should refuse to worship him, for he would be conditional and weak...

He is not though...He is the Great I Am, the Beginning and the End, and the greatest lover to ever exist...

I let my sin(s) be an excuse to run and just throw a few words at God every now and then, while pushing full steam ahead on a path I fashioned for myself out of less than gold...

But,

"Those of us scarred by sin are called to closeness with Him around the banquet table. The kingdom of God is not a subdivision for the self-righteous or for those who lay claim to private visions of doubtful authenticity and boast they possess the state secret of their salvation.....The men and women who are truly filled with light are those who have gazed deeply into the darkness of their own imperfect existence." (Manning 32)

"I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
Ephesians 3:17-19

The love of Christ is beyond knowledge. Let go of your tiny, weak, circumcised, traditionalist, legalistic, human perception of God and open yourself to a God in Jesus Christ, the most loving man to walk this green earth...

While it is good and Godly to pursue a thoughtful life as a man/woman of God, take the pressure off yourself, please...Just shut up and shut off and sit for a second...

Let God love you where you are at.

Not where you think you should be.

Accept that it is real, no matter what you have or haven't done.

If you don't understand it, then consider yourself normal, and don't be discouraged...Ask for God to reveal his love to you...

Chances are that he has already been anyways, you have just been missing it...

Don't fret though, for He is continuing to pursue you with the most furious love.

And He will never stop.

Ever.




----------------------------------
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

When years of time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men, who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.


O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Quote...

"If you knew the depths from which you had come, and the heights to which you have been raised, you would never stop singing."




You have been lifted from the miry clay.

You are not defined by your sin.

You are never too far gone.

When you accept that, don't be afraid to scream in joy.

Oak From Ash...

I literally am sitting here thinking about my life...Where I have come from and where I am now...I suppose self-reflection isn't the worst eh? :)

But jeez, to see the journey I call my life is both fulfilling and yet slightly painful; to see where I was an idiot, or immature, or missed opportunity, but still with God making all things work out for good no matter what...

I write quotes in the back of my Bible and as I looked through them this week I could remember almost every moment and where I was when I wrote them down...Some are from youth group in high school, some from service at church, some from reading a book, some from friends, and a few from sitting in silence with God and thoughts popping in my head...The impact these things have on me today is immense...I cannot discredit these statements and times in my life which have impacted me so...

I've also been looking back through my journal, which is also both an awesome and painful experience...Seeing how I have grown from the beginning of my journey with God when I was fifteen and now as a twenty-two year old about to graduate college in the spring, is humbling...I enjoyed seeing how early in my faith I truly had the faith of a child, with few complications and just a simple desire to seek God out, minus the frills, fluff, preaching, exegetical papers, and arguments from all sides on Truth...Not that those things are bad, but they are just things to have to weigh in with my faith that I didn't have to bother with at first...

Continuing to look back though, I am watching a boy become a man...Sure legally I am an adult, but I'm not so sure that legal right of passage has the depth of impact on teenagers today that we all hope it would...And of course, I am not saying I am much more mature than the next guy, especially my age (I'm in college for heaven's sake), but to able to see growth in my life in this way is huge for me...Weighing my "manliness" against the Scriptures and not the world was something I needed to learn how to do...

Growing up I didn't feel like I fit in most places, and frankly I was awkward as heck...I didn't have any friends really, save for my hockey team, but we only hung out during hockey things mostly...I entered a new high school after transferring from private to public and the awkwardness amplified...But, God decided that was the time to throw some friends into my life who would show me Him (God uses people to do His work and accomplish His will)...Once I found Him, I decided I was now to show Him to the world, with the passions He placed inside me, and I am still finding out what those truly are today; refining my view of them and growing in them...Frankly, even five years ago I would not have guessed the passions I have now were to be...

Who you are now is not who you were three years ago, and who you are now is not who you will be three years from now...We are constantly changing and molding, either to whom God wants us to be more of, or to whom the world wants us to be...There is no middle ground...

So as I sit down and listen to music that brings up memories of everything from high school friends to distinct moments with God, and look at my writings that bring up the same, I find joy, happiness, and passion...The story that is me is one I would not change at all...I may regret past mistakes, however, I would not know Grace like I do and I would not be who I am now without those very mistakes...And just the same, I am thankful for every positive experience that has shaped me...I think I would call this being ok with who I am...I know there will be days when I feel as if I don't like me at all, but when I brush the thick lies away from my face and scream back at the voices telling me I have no purpose, I find peace in God, and God alone...

No one else.
Nothing else.
Do you get that?

My life story was and is written by God.

This does not mean I must walk a thin line mapped out by Him or I fail...It means He simply wants me...Letting me follow Him with those passions he has given me, beginning with Jesus Christ giving me and you The Greatest Commandment:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Love God.

Love People.

Ok.

Quit complicating it and trying to argue it away. You are ruining your life and others around you when you do.

Also, actually take some time, sit down, and check out your life story...See where you have come from and take a peek at how God has been apart of it, whether is was perfect or painful...


:Sinko:




SOME QUOTES FROM THE BACK OF MY BIBLE:

"If your conversion experience hasn't changed your life, then has it changed your eternal destiny?"

"Spiritual breakthrough cannot happen until we stop worshiping the God we want and start worshiping the God He really is."

"Even a dead fish can go with the stream."

"Growth requires change."

"Satan fears only the weakest saint on his knees."

"Sin will always sabatoge prayer. Prayer will always sabatoge sin."

"God is attracted to weakness."

"Sin is anything that deadens your love for God."

"What is it you're doing that without God it would absolutely fail?"

"THERE WILL BE NO COWARDS IN HEAVEN."

Psalm of A Bare-Naked Man...

First song I wrote in a long while...Cheesy sounding? Maybe...But I gave a shot at writing my own psalm...




PSALM OF A BARE-NAKED MAN

O Lord, as I look to the skies I can sense you here with me
I could not count the times I've allowed these fields to show your grace
Your stars tell tales of how you'll never fail; the night pours forth your praise
The heavens shout out, the angels scream out, "Holy is our God"

But forgive me God, for I reach out, I reach for what I hate
Wash me clean, have mercy on me, according to your great love

Create in me a purified heart; renew yourself in me
Cast me not away from this place you call your home
The depth of my being needs to come forth, so open up my soul
Wake me from my sleep and I will rise from this grave

Hallelujah to the King of Kings, the Lion inside my heart
Hallelujah to the King of Kings, the Lion inside my heart

Let this be a sweet, sweet sound

Bare-Naked Living...

Ever had an accountability partner? Or someone you told "everything" to?

I have had several, all close friends of mine and people who are still in my life today.

It's funny, accountability works very well, except when it becomes a social event...When all you do is get together and talk about the surface stuff of life...

Within my accountability partners, I have had these moments...Times where I say what they want to hear...Times when I basically leave out what really needs to be talked about...

For the longest time I almost didn't even realize I was doing it...Putting up barriers and walls so it become instinctual to block someone out...

Then one day a friend of mine grabbed a hold of me and but right through those walls and barriers...He called me out on them...Told me to stop coloring my wording and get right to the root of it...He reached in a grabbed my heart and twisted, whether I wanted him to or not; and that was the point...

Here I was thinking I was a pretty blunt guy, and I am, except for that last little part of me I wasn't letting anyone see...Things I had hidden and justified away...

I won't forget that day. Ever.

But I still have to check myself when I talk to others, or myself, about who I really am...Even when I journaled, I found myself writing in such a way to look better...Now when I journal I even have to check what I wrote and make sure I am honest with where I really am at, not where I think I want to be in that moment...And who reads my journal? No one but me...But if I am not honest with myself, then how can I be honest with another human, or even God?

The most hilarious part of life is when we try to present ourselves to God in a manner other than which is true in that moment...As if we will trick Him into thinking we are somewhere and someone we are not...I still try to do it sometimes though; I still try to tell God I am living for Him and doing things for Him when I really, truly, am not.

I would now like to tell you that I have found freedom in honesty...

When I stopped justifying my life for my close friends when they asked, and started conversations on walks with God on a cold, dark, starry night where I would just tell Him how I really felt, where I really was in my life and relationship with Him, even if it was absolute garbage, I felt more alive...

Of course I am more naked and vulnerable...But that's the point...

The more I am this way with my close friends, the more they are the same in return; hence our friendship progresses to a deeper level...The same applies with God...The more I am honest with Him, the more I can let Him in my life and let Him do work on and in me...And the more I feel like a child talking to someone he loves...

In short, I could not express to you how honest you must be in your life...I will not say you should tell the whole world your darkest secrets, because I believe those are reserved for a few of your closest friends and God...And when I say close friends, I mean people who care about your soul and love you no matter what...This is not a conditional love either...When I found these friends I hung onto them, and it was the best decision I have ever made for myself...Don't settle for a friend who doesn't give two cents about who you really are...You are better off without them...

...And be yourself.

If you don't know who you are, ask God. Ask a friend. Then see if the two answers line up.

And if you need a friend who knows you deeply (a biblical mandate), then pray for one, and get some courage and seek one out.

If you really wanted it, you would make the effort for it.

But be honest on whether you really want it or not.




"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor."
::Galatians 6:1-6::

We Are All Just Ragamuffins...

I have been chewing on this for a few days...

"Over the years, the growing consciousness of radical grace has wrought profound changes in my self-awareness. Justification by grace through faith means that I know myself accepted by God as I am. When my head is enlightened and my heart is pierced by this truth, I can accept myself as I am. Genuine self-acceptance is not derived from the power of positive thinking, mind-games, or pop psychology. It is an act of faith in the God of grace."

::THE RAGAMUFFIN GOSPEL::
::by: Brennan Manning::


...oh how I want to live every day of my life in this Truth...


...where do I obtain my self-acceptance?

Pick A Title...And Then Run Away...

I have these times, more often than sometimes sadly, where I feel out of reach...I think I have done something or gone somewhere where God can't follow me...Where I think I can't get back to Him for a little while...

How familiar is this for you: You "screw up" or sin in a "big" way, and then you feel ashamed and wait a few days or until you "feel better" about it to talk to God...

Well, it's familiar for me...And something I want no part of anymore...

I've messed up bigtime in my life...In ways very few, if any, of you know...Even after I found God in high school some of my old vices stayed with me and I did not trust God to deliver me through...I relied on the flesh and thought I could handle it...

This in turn has make me think a lot about grace in my life...I don't feel as if I should be coming to God with my crap sometimes...Like I have to follow a formula or be a better whatever before I can speak...But come on, we all know that is a lie ...For He is the author of our lives and is impossible to hide anything from...Satan will make you and I feel like we have no business with God over even the smallest thing...

But check out 1 Timothy 1:15-16

This is nothing most of us have not heard before...In our heads we know that Jesus Christ died so that we may live a crazy life...But do we believe it in our hearts? Do I truly let my head and heart knowledge connect?

See, there is no way Timothy didn't know what Paul was telling him here...Timothy, while young, was a leader in the church and knew that Christ died for sinners and rose from the dead, for that is the very foundation of Christianity...Paul didn't need to tell Timothy that...But he did...Why? It has to be important then...

See, Paul admits he is the worst of sinners, and he was, so to say...He killed people who died for Jesus, a man he would end up suffering for himself...But Paul recognizes the mercy he was shown in order for Christ Jesus to be displayed...Paul recognizes that he is but a mere tool used by God in this world to do His will, and he counts it as a huge privilege...

This "trustworthy saying" is the very hinge that Paul puts his life, and finds it important enough to state to someone who already knew it...

What do you already "know" that needs to be said and/or reiterated in your life? Do you need to be called out on sin that no one knows about? Do you need to sit and hear the gospel message again in order to find your roots again? Do you need to get away from people and sit in the middle of a field or on a hill watching the sunset and stars to remember that we are NOTHING, but God still chooses us and wants us...Maybe sit there and do nothing except silently worship while you stare millions of miles away...Or maybe just sit and listen...

See, Grace is something that is hard to grab...I think I need to earn my life...It's how I was brought up...But dang it man, it's free.

My times when I "feel-bad" and don't want to talk to God because I have "screwed-up big" are nothing for God to wash over...No way does this excuse me to abuse the grace again, but my pity feelings are such a slap in the face to God, so to say, that I may as well spit at the foot of the cross he was nailed to...

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'"
2 Corinthians 12:9


So, I am weak. It is true. I have no power in my own self to withstand temptation.

But the same power that conquered the grave now lives in me.

And you too, if you have chosen to follow Jesus Christ until the day you die here.

There is NOTHING you can do to to get away from God.

NOTHING.

WE SEEM TO THINK THAT THIS ABUNDANT GRACE CANNOT WIPE AWAY OUR DARK SIN.

I don't care what you have done, who you hurt, and if God is the one you have hurt the most...His graceful love goes beyond what your human mind can hold onto...

Sorry you and I can't understand that fully.

You won't be able to.

So don't think you can.

Just accept it...Even if you hate free things, charity, or handouts.

Swallow your pride.

It's not worth keeping anyways.




"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience and an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."
1 Timothy 1:15-17

Forget About His Will For Your Life...

"I just wish I knew God's will for my life."

Hear these words before?

Speak these words before?

I have.

Here's the problem: as I search the Scriptures, I can find very few people who knew their life plan ahead of time in any amount of significance...

I wonder if maybe God doesn't care as much about His will for us as much as He cares about our hearts being abandoned to His Spirit...About us being open to hearing the Spirit and acting on it, rather than sitting in one spot, waiting for an epic voice from heaven to tell us our life plan, mapped out in front of our eyes...

Let me share my dream(s) with you. I would absolutely love, I mean absolutely love if I could be in a band with some guys, touring around, spreading the news of God in music scenes that do not hear about the love of Christ very often...I have a passion for it...I have a little God-given talent in it...But does God want me to do it?

Ah.

Here enlies a problem...with all of us...

We sit paralyzed in fear that we would make a mistake and accidentally miss God's exact plan for our lives and head down that "just not quite the will of God" road forever...So we sit and do not move...

But have you thought about the next twenty minutes? And what God wants you to do in that time? See, it seems safer for us to commit to God SOMEDAY instead of TODAY.

Living for God out of fear of disappointing Him or missing the mark is way off...Yes we should fear God in reverence, but we should not fear that we will let him down with our decisions in life...We are going to anyways...We are human...Living in fear of failure is the quickest path to uselessness...

Uselessness in the sense that people create their own plan, then ask God to join them on it...As if God is their puppet and "feel-good" button...No one in Scripture who is a great person in the Bible lived a safe life that required little faith and trust in God to work in crazy situations...

See, we are never promised a certain plan of action for so many years...But we are promised to never be forsaken or left by God...

Instead of searching for the will, we need to be searching for the Spirit.

Once again, my DREAM right now, is to take music and do something crazy with it and see God move through it...To write and "perform" only to show people there is someone greater behind it all...To hold a microphone and/or guitar and jump and scream around whatever stage area exists for that night...Is this passion and dream something God instilled in me? Or did I create it out of my fleshly desire?

But at what point does God stop caring about what you are doing as long as you are doing it completely for Him?

Don't get me wrong, I believe God has things he has ordained for us, He says so in Scripture...But He never promises to reveal them all at once, in advance...

Yes, trust is hard. Yes, patience is not easy to obtain all the time.

But you show me an example where God has let someone down in an eternal way, and I will say that trusting God is not worth it...

Until then, I will continue to chew on this "will" thing...



"Jesus Christ did not die in order to follow us. He died and rose again so that we could forget everything else and follow Him to the cross, to eternal life."
-"FORGOTTEN GOD" by: Francis Chan

Wake Up The Sun...

It's like screaming your head off and no one can hear...

Actually, that's exactly what it is.

I can see the potential inside of me, but I can't get it to come out all the time...And then I wrestle with wondering if my vision of me is even close to God's vision of me...Obviously I can never see the full potential of what God wants me to be, nor would I ever know one hundred percent if I was there, but man alive do I want to live for more than I am sometimes...

I can feel something inside me that can change the world for Christ...Not in a selfish way, but under the grace and mercy of God, provided he chooses to use me in whatever endeavor I partake in...And what an honor it is to be used by God, for anything, big or small...

But do you get what I am saying? I've said it before...I want so badly to do something that is destined to fail unless God intervenes...

Sadly, I am not willing to be patient enough sometimes...I am not willing to be disciplined enough...I am not willing to quiet myself and listen...I am not willing to pour into His word to find my place in this grand scheme of life...

What a wretch I am.

But He saved this wretch.

He still wants me to do His work.

He still wants me to carry Him inside me.

But more importantly, He simply wants me to love Him, and love others.

See, I get ahead of myself...I want to do the "cool" "fun" work, without doing the "harder" more "disciplined" work...I want to have my cake and eat it too...

Yes He has grace and forgives me, but that gives me no excuse to sit and do nothing, expecting to be used for great things when I am not as willing as I say I am...

However, this does not change the fact there is a passion inside of me, and maybe you, to change the world...And by world, that could mean anything from the smallest of families to the largest of countries and continents...We could live our entire lives and never see the fruits of our labor...But would it still be worth it?

Of course.

There is no question.

But now we must wake up.

We must not sit down and be idle any longer.

I cannot sit down and be idle any longer.

We must rise from the dead.

I SIMPLY WANT TO BE ALIVE.



"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Ephesians 5:14

The Summer Continues...

Finally.

I feel like I am progressing and growing.

Not that I hadn't before, I think we grow everyday...I really do...But I have this problem with believing that I am moving in forward motion in my life sometimes...I tend to feel as if I am failing at something or I am failing to be someone...

I am my own worst enemy...Whether it is myself or Satan telling me that I am not good enough for what I do, I listen more than I should...

This summer though, has taught me a lot about myself, and how to lead and communicate...See, my normal means of communication are not the most effective all the time, and especially in the position of leadership I am in this summer...Different people means different personalities, and some of those personalities are different than what I normally have this close to me...

But let me say that it is not easy to adapt/change/switch/think differently...When I have those miscommunications or read a situation in a way it was not meant to be read, I get discouraged and think I am failing...Not true though...

I am a point where I have realized that all the hard times and all the times where I feel as if I am not doing well are times where I grow and learn the most, and where God gets to be involved even more...

Of course God should be involved in every second of my life...But sometimes I don't let him in, or I take charge for awhile and think I know what is best...

But my track record when I take charge of my life and end up successful turns out to be a big zero.

See, my lack of confidence in myself does NOT come from God...That would be against His nature...There is no way God wants to make me feel like an ant...I feel like that already when I look at the stars...He wants me to recognize my weakness though, and let him become the strength in that...

I know I will continue to be pushed and stretched as the summer progresses...I know I will have hard days, and days where I feel ineffective...But I know I will also have days where I feel on top of the world and like I am right where God wants me...

Either way, God is in control...

Whether you believe it or not.



"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:10

He Must Believe And Not Doubt...

My first week of my summer job is done...Six or so more weeks to go...Our first camp was a great time...We met some amazing people, lead worship for the whole camp, and hung out with a ton of kids...Once again I found myself looking around and going, "I'm getting paid to do this?" It's great :)

My last post was on how I wondered if I was going to lead well, and if I was going to lead in a Godly way and be a Godly example for everyone...Even just a week into this, I have a better perspective on it...While I still wonder if I am leading my team in the best way possible sometimes, and I still wonder if I am serving God with my whole heart, I take comfort in the fact that it's ok to not know everything before God...It would take out the entire awe of being a created being if I knew...

This past week I was asking myself how I was going to lead this team I have been placed in charge of, and it just so happens I was in James...I made in 5 verses in and God decided to show me how that was to happen...James 1: 5-8 is what is hitting me over the head this week...

I am told that if I would like to know how best to lead this team, than I am to stop stressing out about it and ask God for the wisdom to do that very thing...

Oh.

And...

I am told that if I truly desire that wisdom, when I ask I cannot do it halfheartedly...If I really don't believe what I am saying, than I am not who I say I am...I blown around by life's circumstances and I double-minded and unstable in everything I do...

Well...

I suppose that simplifies it a bit...

Give it to God. Ask him for wisdom on the situation. Believe what I say.

Well then Jake...How much do you trust God to come through when you ask for it? Enough to feel good about yourself? Or enough to feel like you have no control and God is going to have to show up?

I would love to live the latter out...



"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."
James 1:5-8

A Continuing Journey of Passionate Passions...

Tomorrow I start my summer job.

I get to lead a team around the Midwest with seven other people and lead worship at youth camps for eight weeks.

I get to help be a counselor at some of these camps.

I get paid to do it.

What a deal.


Another journey begins in my life tomorrow, and yet I feel as if I am unprepared and definitely not qualified for what I am doing...

Maybe that's why I'm doing it.


And while a new journey does begin, it also is about to merge with the main journey of my life, meeting at the complex, yet simple intersection where hundreds of other roads collide and mesh to create the walking, breathing, living human being called Me...

It has taken me many years, and many hits upside the head to realize how much my life is a product of a grace-filled plan, and I am able to see how it is filled with my passions, my loves, and my gifts...What a privilege and humbling experience to be able to serve God in the areas I love...

I am fully aware that I am passionate about my passions because I was designed to be, but nonetheless it is an amazing thing I am able to be in that weave of loves...Especially over these next eight weeks, as I will combine many of those passions: Music, Youth, Ministry, Counseling, Camping, Outdoors, People, Sports, Mentoring, Acting Stupid, Acting Crazy, Worshiping Through Music, Jumping Off Things, Flipping Off Things, Laughing, Sleeping, Yelling, Singing, Teaching, Socializing, Meeting New People, Stargazing, Serving, Dying To Self...

Get the picture? See the intersection forming?

How a kid who can't sing well, is mediocre at guitar, has self-confidence issues, and has trouble keeping his voice below one hundred decibels :)...is called to do what I am doing this summer, is flat-out amazing from my perspective...
I do not state this for desires of sympathy and/or affirmation...That is the furthest from my intent...I say state this to put, at the forefront of this, a statement which shows God having to show up or the whole thing will fail...For the last few years of my life, I have wanted to do nothing more than something that was destined to fail unless God showed up...Of course, this does not excuse me from putting my full effort into the matter, and definitely does not excuse me from using my brain to make decisions...But it also does not excuse me if I try to do it on my own...

Thank God.

If but one human life is changed this summer, then I call it a success...

And why not.

Jesus cared for nothing more than each broken, frail life he encountered while he was on earth, and every other life that has ever been, and ever will be...





"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13
(My life verse)

Wretched? Useable? Fruitful?

For the last four years of my life, I have been a youth leader at my old youth group...I started with the teens when they were freshmen in high school, while I was only a freshmen in college, following them throughout high school...When I was a junior I took over specifically as the boys small group leader, which for me meant I could finally talk about guys stuff around them without worrying about girls hearing anything :)

That was the preface...

Tonight we had senior night, and all of them graduated from youth group...So I was able to say goodbye to them in the small group capacity in front of all their parents and some church members who attended the banquet we had...

I'm twenty-one years old...I was in charge of some spiritual development of boys who are barely four years younger than me...What a daunting task now that I look back on it...

Tonight all the seniors were able to share something about their experience with the youth group and thank people who helped them on the journey...It was really great to hear how all of them have grown and matured...

When my guys were sharing though, they singled me out...They told me that I influenced them...That I was a consistent person in their inconsistent lives...That I meant something to them...

It was as if four years of investment came to a single point in time in the cosmos and suddenly I realized that I did matter more than I thought...Now, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God doesn't need me, not at all...But tonight I saw how He used me...Not only for a single event for short time...But in many lives for a LIFETIME...

I heard their testimony for evidence, which is indisputable...Nothing can change what they or I experienced...

My thoughts are all over the place, which I apologize for...But what I want you to be able to see, is that you really do matter...

I stood there listening to people say that my life was intertwined with theirs for the rest of eternity...

That's all I need to hear...

Now, I don't presume to say that I am some amazing awesome teacher/leader/mentor...I honestly could give a laundry list of reasons of how I failed those guys...But that's not what they talked about...And that's not what God talks about...

What I do presume to say though, is that I matter in the kingdom of God on this earth...And so do you...If God can use a wretched, screw-up, idiot like me to affect a handful of teenage guys for the rest of their lives, then, my friend, you are used as well...Even when you don't think you are worth the dirt under your feet...

So wake up...And realize you are important in someone else's life/lives.

It is formally the end of my journey with these boys...

But don't think I won't visit them at college and crash in their dorm rooms, letting them know that their life is more to me than a program title at a church...





"Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."
Matthew 7:20