Lopsided Relationships...

So...Here I am at college finally...Not just commuting...A week or so in and really liking it so far...Pretty much convinced that even though I would do great at a few other places...I am best fit here in Spring Arbor...The first week was easy...Almost no classes and lots of time to hang with people and such...Then classes started and I realized how hard it was to get homework done in a dorm...Distractions everywhere...I really am having to learn how to find some quiet space to get crap done...Classes are awesome though...Loving how we pray before every class almost and study the Bible...Are you kidding? Everywhere I have gone to school before you can't really use the Bible as a base source of truth and knowledge...Also, really loving this whole chapel thing we do twice a week...I mean, classes are scheduled around worshipping God in song with 1200 people...How freaking awesome is that? So many people not caring about who's watching them and just worshipping God because they want to...Monday at chapel Tony Campola spoke and the place was rocked...He challenged the junk out of us to start caring for the poor and widowed and to use the education we are going to get to change the world...It really made me sure I was not wasting my time and money being at Spring Arbor needlessly...I am here to use what knowledge I am gaining to change the world for God...That is worth any sum of money in my eyes...

Now...what has happened in the last few hours is really awesome...I went to this thing called Deeper in the student center tonight...It's a student lead worship time and in depth Bible study with out chaplain Ron Kopicko...I have been struggling for a bit on finding God and being the way I used to be in my faith...On fire going nuts for God and everyone knowing it...I have noticed and been told I am not as joyful as I used to be...I guess I saw it, but unconsciously ignored it...Tonight Ron spoke of wanting to be in a relationship for what we can get out of it...I mean, you wouldn't want to be dating someone who is only dating for them to get something from you right? A little one-sided...You wouldn't marry someone half-heartedly or want them doing the same to you...Why then, do we do that with God? Why do just use Him for stuff when we need it? Why do we want God around to make our lives "easier" instead of just simply wanting to be with Him? Why can't we look in the Bible and see where it says to go out and make disciples? Why can't we start thinking less about ourselves and more about how God wants to use us to change this world for Him...He wants us to be self-less people who are looking for ways to serve others and show true love the way the Acts church did...Not people in a building listening to some dude in front talk and walk out the doors as if life was the same...No way you shouldn't be changed when you listen to God's word...If you are stagnant after something like that...Then you either didn't listen or need a reality check on who God is in your life...

And that, my friends, is where I have been...I have been in the faith for what I can get out of it...How many people notice me doing good things...How good I look...How I look when I worship...How I think someone thinks of me...I, I, I, I...see the pattern? (thanks Aunt Connie :) We have made our relationship with God so much about ourselves and what we can get out of it that we have missed every opportunity God placed on our doorstep to serve and spread his love...

So I took a little walk after Deeper tonight and God and I talked...I talked a little more (something I have to work on also) and I just apologized for being so self-centered and asked Him to let me in on His plan and change my heart to that of a servant and show me how to show others what it means to follow the creator of this freaking universe...I used to be like that once...And people noticed...Not in a selfish way am I proud they noticed, but more along the lines of me being glad to point to God and say this is why I am...This is why I wake up everyday and love myself and love who I am...

God can do some insane things...Whether they are seen by other humans or not should be insignificant...It shouldn't matter who sees what as long as your heart is set on God and you know what you do you do for God...And that my friends, is the only thing that will last forever...