Crazy, Nutty, and Saved...

I've been thinking lately about the time period in which Jesus lived...I know, random... But hey, when you have ADD that tends to happen...(Attention Deficit Disorder for those who are undereducated, or go to JCC...Wait, I do...) Anyways...I was reading something about the Disciples and how radical they were to follow Jesus, and it hit me...You would have had to be almost completely off your rocker to follow this dude...I mean, come on...All he did was say, "Follow me..." or "I will make you fishers of men..." Fishers of men? If someone today heard that they would laugh in his face...Something had to have moved in these men who would later be called disciples......The stuff Jesus was preaching at the time (30-33 A.D.) was not exactly in line with most people's beliefs...Most didn't exactly think Jesus was the messiah...Jewish tradition says that the messiah will come as a great king of the people and be powerful...Not some dude in a plain robe and the son of a carpenter...So it kind of makes it that much cooler that some dudes just left everything and followed Jesus...That's kind of how I feel it is today...I mean, who gives everything they have (possession, money, their life perhaps) to someone they can't even see? Shoot, at the least the disciples could see the dang guy...(small joke)...Today, it's basically against any common sense I hear about...The world keeps telling me I need money, fame, and no problems to have the perfect life...Well I say that I will go in blind and rely on Jesus if it means I get to live forever...I just want to realize that what I am doing is completely nuts and I love every second of it...I pray that God never lets me water down His glory, grace, and mercy...I hope that you never ever let go of this crazy, awesome, out of this world thing you have inside of you...Thank you God so much for blowing my life into pieces and putting me back together how you want...

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me."
Galatians 2:20

Are There Any Left Who Haven't Kissed The Enemy?

I don't know if I can take it anymore...Every week it's someone new...Before I get into it, I first have to say that I know I screw up everyday, and that no sin is greater than any other...All I have chosen to do I guess is concentate on a few of them...Anyways, I hate alcohol, weed, and whatever euphoria they bring...I really hate to be vocal about this, but it has been bothering me for so long that I just have to let it out...There are so many people I have known that have had an impact in my life for Christ, and so many people who I have looked up to as a Christian or had as a friend...Problem is, a friken lot of these people have done or been apart of anything and eveything I have ever known to not be involved with being a follower of Christ...So many people have gone off to college and become partiers...I really don't want to sound critical, because I known I friken screw up with other things, so if you don't like what I'm saying, please stop reading...It just hurts inside to see so many people close to me get into drinking...I mean, did God not say "Do not get drunk on wine." Ephesians 5:18......"Ok" I've been told by some people..."But I just drink socially to be around people that I could maybe even share God about..."Well that's cool, if you're 21...I know people hate laws and stuff, but God did say to respect the laws of man...Hey, aren't Chrisitans supposed to be an example of Jesus in the world? I know He drank wine, but never got drunk, and they didn't have a drinking age then...But it's not the technicalities anyone should be looking for to get by...If the world thinks alcohol represents something bad, then why present that image to them if you are alive in God? Why even want to be apart of something that will not bring you closer to God? Back to the old permissive/beneficial thing...It's not beneficial at all, and even borders the permissive line at times...I probably sound like a jerk and narrow-minded Christian...But I do love everyone that I know that may party and stuff...It's not them I hate, it's what they get into...Never will I ever love anyone less for screwing around with alcohol and drugs...I mean, shoot, I sin in different ways other people may hate as much as I hate alcohol...Maybe that's why it hurts so much to see people I know get into this...Because I love them...Christ loves them too, so really in the end, my opinion doesn't even matter...


Is there nothing left now?
Nothing left to sing
Are there any left who hasn't kiss the enemy?
Is this the New Year or just another desperation?

Does justice never find you?
Do the wicked never lose?
Is there any honest song to sing besides these blues?

And nothing is okay
Till the world caves in
Till the world caves in

Switchfoot- "The Blues"

Beat Myself Down...

Ever done something (sin) and felt like complete crap after? Ever felt like you just really didn't want to talk to God because you didn't feel like He would listen? Like you weren't worthy? It sucks...Problem...all of these feelings of guilt and remorse and crap are completely the opposite of God...(Satan for those slow ones :) This dude named Lucifer loves it when we keep drifting back into sin because it honors him...The devil loves it when we run from God when we need God the most...It's when we are at our lowest that God picks us up....If you are a Bible follower, then check out Isaiah 40:29- "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." A lot of people (me a lot of the time) feel like if they screw up over and over, or miss some devotions, that they can't go to God until they feel better about themselves...I am not saying that is it ok to just miss devos or sin c0nsciously all the time, but it is wrong to think that you can't come to God with your problem all the time every time. Maybe God has this plan for you that He needs you to be ready for...There is no way that you can do that when you are too busy beating yourself up over something that happened a few days ago...If you really asked God for forgiveness and meant it, He forgave you...God is that amazing, all the time...Why then, can you not forgive yourself? It's almost like saying that God's grace is not good enough for you...It's the realization that we are not perfect and that we will screw up, while still trying to do everything we can to be like Jesus...It's this realization when The we come full circle on the power of God and how much He cares for us...

A Storm Overcome...

Y'all know the story about Jesus calming the storm? If not, check out Luke 8:22-25...Anyways, remember when the disciples woke him and yelled out "Master, Master! We're going to drown!" Now, most people would consider this a prayer...After all, that's what talking to God is...They were in trouble and went to God, and he calmed the storm...Isn't that what we do? A storm comes and we pray to God for help...Funny thing though, when the storm settles, Jesus rebuked his disciples: "Where is you faith?" He said...Where is your faith? What the heck? Then again...Jesus did say that they were going to the other side...Did they think that He was lying? If Jesus says you're gonna make it, by gol you're gonna make it...Pretty sure He knows more than any of us...The disciples forgot that God is bigger than the biggest storms...Good sermon stuff right there...So, shoot...Where is our faith supposed to be? In God's promise to get us to the destination He has determined? Had something like this story happened to someone today, it would be considered a success story...We prayed in a desperate situation, and God delivered us...Good testimony material... But hey, a thought here...What if Jesus was trying to teach the twelve see the world from a new perspective: God's kingdom...As followers of Jesus they could have bent nature's rules too...When we walk in harmony with God, there is power to overcome anything...When I actually see myself as God does, and I know God's purpose and intention, mindblowing things happen...That's really what Jesus is offering to us...A chance to see the world from His eyes...Once we experience the power of God that fills every crevice, crack, and fiber in our body, we no longer bow to any of the world's idols...We grow in love; not in a selfish way, where we say "It's all about me"...But in a biblical way, where we say "It's all about God" (Thanks Rick)...

(Help with this blog came from Buck-Naked Faith by Eric Sandras, p.115-117)

I Want...God...

I want…Is that the right approach? There’s all these things I want to do and be, but do they align with God? Am I creating my own kingdom instead of trying to expand God’s? Still a little clueless on college choices too…Speak Lord, and I’ll listen…
So I have this devo book, My Utmost for His Highest, and on the day, I wrote the paragraph above, I read this for the day’s scripture…It kind of hit home like non other…
“We have any number of visions and ideals when we are young, but sooner or later we find that we have no power to make them real…We cannot do the things we long to do, and we are apt to settle down to the visions and ideals as dead, and God has to come and say- ‘Arise from the dead’…When the inspiration of God does come, it comes with such miraculous power that we are able to arise from he dead and do the impossible thing…God does not give us overcoming life, he gives us life as we overcome…When the inspiration of God comes, and He says “Arise from the dead,” we have to get up, God does not lift us up…”
This all hit home pretty hard with me…I really have been struggling with doing things just because they are fun or enjoyable…Even ministry things…I have lost some of the heart of why I do what I do…Worship band, Freshman leader, and just plain having people look up to me…Mind-blowing actually that people will do that…As Uncle Ben said, “With great power comes great responsibility”… Not being a self-centered short kid here, but I was not modeling who I want to and should be in God…Never know who’s looking (God perhaps :) ...
I also really wonder what it is that God has in store for me…I want to change the world, and yet I really have somewhat of no clue how to…Honestly, I know I should pray and listen for God to nudge me and point my spiritual compass, it’s just so freakin hard sometimes because pretty much usually, my time does not align with His…I’m not kidding, I just want to give it all up and change this lost, broken world…Not caring about possession…Not caring about external appearances…Not caring about what I am, only who I am in Christ…This could mean being a youth pastor as God seems to be calling me to be…It could mean giving up everything I have and living on the streets or as a missionary somewhere…Heck, why not both? Ha…

I want to do something that is bound to fail unless divinely intervened…

“Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”
Ephesians 5:14

After The World...

There's this band...Disciple...there pretty good, check em out...Anyways...they have this song called "After The World"...Probably one of the best songs I have ever heard in my life...Lyrics, music, and meaning; all come together to make for one nice thought provoking session and reflection on who we are in Christ's eyes and why He did what He did...This song just kind of hit me between the eyes one day as I realized there is NOTHING, EVER that can come between the love He has for us...Things can come between our love for Him if we let them, but never the other way around...He is so huge and so amazing that everything our being consist of is wonderful in His eyes...Hence the fact that we are made in His image...But this song kind of comes back to our questioning God and the things He did, does, and will do for us...Specifically when Jesus was on the cross, which is the perspective this song was written from...Of course, the lyrics themselves can speak better, so I will let them take over...


You break the glass, try to hide your face
Recorded lines that just will not erase
And buried in your loss of innocence
You wonder if you’ll find it again

Was I there for the worst of all your pain?
And was I there when your blue skies ran away?
Was I there when the rains were flooding you off your feet?
Those were My tears falling down for you, falling down for you

(Chorus)
I’m the One that you’ve been looking for
I’m the One that you’ve been waiting for
I’ve had My eyes on you ever since you were born
I will love you after the rain falls down
I will love you after the sun goes out
I’ll have My eyes on you after the world is no more

Did I arrange the light of your first day?
Did I create the rhythm your heart makes?
Could you believe when your candle starts to fade?
I want to be the One that you believe
Could take it all away, take your heart away

(Chorus)

Isn’t My life a clear sign since I have crossed over this chasm
To fill the space between Me and you?
And I will do it all over again
Just look for Me, just wait for Me

The One you’ve been looking for
The One you’ve been waiting for
You won’t have to look anymore

Help, Oh God...

My future=Unsure...I just have to let this out that I have no idea what I am to do next year...I have applied to seven colleges to go to after this year at Jackson Community College...I even am unsure about what I want to do, even though it should seem so clear...I think I am going into Youh Ministry to be a youth pastor...I love high school kids and really love to "teach" people things about God...Countless people have even told me I would be a good youth pastor...Next problem...What college? Do I go to college? I know the answer is 99.9% yes as far as going to college, because I won't survive this world without a degree (or two), but as far as where to go I really am now not as sure as I once was...My worry is that if I go to one college, I will wonder what life could have been like at another one of them...It's like, I will regret my decision and not have fun at the college I am at...Will it even matter where I go? Does God have one place He wants me? I also am wrestling with the fact that I want to just give up everything and live for God with no attachements...I just want to have only Him and not worry about worldly things...Basically, no college...But then I think..."What if He wants me as a crazy, down-to-earth youth pastor who can reach out to the kids who seemingly can't be reached?" That would be amazing...I do realize though, that I am underestimating God and what He has in my future...I am trying to put Him in a box and say, "There is no way I could ever do that or even want to be that..." I do know though, that I have to REALLY put all trust in God for it to work out and have Him point me in whatever direction is the best....

Here we go...the ride of my life...

Under The Overpass...

So I started this book Under The Overpass the other day...I really have to put it up there in my top few books ever...This dude Mike and his friend Sam decided to be homeless for five months...Ha...I thought that it was nuts when I first heard it too...Their idea was to see if their faith in God could exist when all the comforts of an average life were taken...Sounds a little bland in typing right now, but I tell you this book is changing my perspective on Christianity...What they found out was that people virtually ignore and pretend you don't exist when you are below what they consider to be human...The worst part is, "church" people were in that category almost as much as "non-church"...The guys slept in front of a church one night assuming they would be woken by people going into it in the morning...What they woke up to though, was the sounds of voices singing worship songs...As it turns out, everyone had gone around to a side door to avoid having to confront these two homeless dudes...Not saying every church is like this, but more often than not, the ones who were supposed to be loving and caring toward the "worst" humans, the church, were not...There were some that took them in and were friendly, but too mnay times they were looked at as scum of the earth...It seems to me that there is something in this world that makes us afraid to get outside our little bubble of comfort and actually do what Jesus said to do on His terms, not ours...Jesus hung out with the prostitutes, lepers, and shunned people of His time...No I know I have to be the change I want to see in the world, which is why I am thinking about doing this sometime in the next few years, but I just had to get some of this out...There will be plenty later....

Wonder...

I am one of those people who loves to know how things work…I love taking apart things and putting them back together…Not only little machines and such, but life itself…I always seem to have to know why things happen the way they do…Problem here…I carry it over into my spiritual life, and that can create some problems…I sometimes question God’s motives as if I know better than Him…I sometimes wonder why He did something the way He did, or why He created something…
Wonder…Ha…Funny word that one is…It means that something has some mystery to it and makes you sit and dwell over why it exists…Faith is kind of like that I guess…I mean, you base your life around something that more or less can’t be physical touched or grasped…You put all trust you have into something bigger physical, mentally, and spiritually than you…That doesn’t sounds too bad eh?
That is why I do not understand some people’s approached to God (mine occasionally)… “Many have abandoned the great mysteries of faith and the passionate pursuit of love and holiness in order to pursue a more rationalistic approach to the Bible and God.” (Buck Naked Faith) It’s like people are trying to water down something because it fits into their box they call life, while so much more is going on around them that much bigger than themselves…They don’t want to think about the fact that they may not understand everything about God…They may not get why He is what He is…
I really think that a part of faith is in the mystery…A part of believing Jesus is who He said He was is knowing that there are things about it that are unattainable for a human to grasp… “Is it possible to stare in wonder or bow in awe, regardless of understanding?” I mean, come on…A dude dies on a tree with nails through his body so that we get to spend forever in a place more awesome than a million human minds could comprehend together…FOREVER…That’s a very long time by the way, and if you really think about it, your head may start hurting… :)
It’s my lack of understanding sometimes that makes me love believing in Jesus as my savior…It makes the growing and maturing process more of an adventure and less of a arithmetic manufacturing process…I enjoy not being able to wrap my head around things sometimes and getting my mind blown by God…

Who Am I?

Ok…so…lately I have been struggling to find who I am...I have been getting into this mindset where I want to be really different…Different in the sense of not being mainstream, trying to do things in a new way…This is how I was going about the whole church thing…I have been reading about all these people doing things that are considered normal “church” and have really been inspired by them…The problem is, I have been jumping on the bandwagon with limited supplies, limited support and a blind ambition, so to say…As the last post I put on goes along with, I want change in the way I do things and the way people think of Christians, as well as how Christians are portrayed in this world…Sometimes I just get sick of the way people “do” church and don’t live like Jesus would…But, I really have forgotten all the wonderful things about the church today…I have forgotten where my foundation was built…There are so many churches that are wonderful and filled with true Jesus followers…I allowed myself to get caught up in blaming and judging the church by the bad ones….
I also have fallen into the ministry trap…Wait, that sounded bad, so let me explain…I help with my old high school youth group as a freshmen adult leader and I also play in the worship band…Problem number 2 was that I was doing stuff for God kind of empty-heartedly…At the beginning my heart was in it very strong, then I started losing that and just did these things because they are “good” things to do…Then I read this chapter in a book called Buck Naked Faith by Eric Sandras and it hit me…I was no longer letting the spirituality of the things take over…Here’s an excerpt from it…

“Are you so consumed with trying to do something for God that you aren’t allowing room to just be God’s? You can take the most mundane and even despised task and turn it into a glorifying kingdom experience. This perspective opens the heavens so that God’s life-giving reign can satiate your emotional dryness. It’s a perspective of humility and surrender. If you find yourself at such a place, treasure this time.”

See, I was doing these things because they were really fun things to do…They were easy for me to glorify God through…I didn’t have to work hard…Things like school and my family, which are harder for me to glorify God in, I shoved aside and didn’t fuse all parts of my life into one, into The One…No more…Now it’s time to kick myself in the rear and get to work for God… I am still going to do the church ministry things I do…just now they will be a piece of the puzzle to who I am in God…All pieces must be put together to see the whole picture…

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus: Who, being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…"
Philippians 2:5-7

Who is a true Christian?

I was visiting one of my favorite bands sites, Underoath, the other day, and I ran across a blog entry by one of my idols, their guitarist Timmy McTague...I really have never heard anyone say something that is so close to how I feel and how I think...This entry pretty much hits dead on in my "beliefs" and outlook...Here ya go:


Nov 24, 2006 - Who is a true Christian? - Timmy

It seems no matter what is said, or done on this website I see and hear of people wondering/speculating/ judging who is a christian and who isn't. I honestly don't even want to give this subject anymore of a spotlight but i feel like a lot of you are wondering who Underoath is, and who I am , and who we are as people and Christians, and how that applies to our lives. I feel a true Christian is someone who loves other people before themselves and loves God with everything. My goal in life isn't to go through life never drinking a beer, or not saying certain words...it's loving people and learning how to be a positive influence in people's lives. If you're looking at us to fit the squeaky clean mold that the Christian right has set before us as the status quo, I think it's time for you to sign off of this website for good. We are real dudes with real problems. If you want perfect people then you are always going to be disappointed..if you want to feel like you're a perfect person and are surrounded by perfect people, then go into %90 of the churches that exist in our country where sexual addiction doesn't exist, or drug use doesn't exist, or drinking doesn't exist....I have news for you....the only time that stuff doesn't exist is for 45 minutes on Sunday morning. NOBODY is perfect, and no one ever will be...if you think someone is your being lied to or you're lying to yourself. There's nothing wrong with someone drinking, or listening to whatever they want, or wearing whatever they want. I'd rather have a few beers with my friends and get real with them on issues and struggles rather than fake perfection and never really get anywhere with anyone. I care about poverty, the environment, homeless people, my friends lives, my girlfriend's heart and life, my family, social injustices.....so on and so forth. I am not concerned about who drank what, and who smokes, or who said ass the other night. We are not twelve years old...it's time to stop acting like we are. Look past the five steps of being a good Christian that your youth leader told you and start getting real. There's people that are killing themselves right now because nobody talks about problems. People feel like they are alone in struggles because nobody is willing to admit their own flaws. Everyone gets trapped in this social prison and in turn are pushed further and further down until they are helpless. I drink with my friends, I mess up with my girlfriend, my mouth isn't the cleanest thing in the world, homosexual people don't offend me, I don't agree with George Bush and the war we are in....and the list goes on. I feel like this journal entry is so elementary, but i feel like this issue needs to be dealt with. Until we're ok with not being ok, we're never going to get anywhere. I'm as messed up as anyone that is reading this, if not more. The only thing I know is that anything of any real value or worth in my life is not of my own accord but Christ in me. Jesus ate 'unclean' meet, drank wine with his friends, hung out with people that didn't fit the contemporary christian molds of old, and he got heat for it..but it was the right thing to do..the real thing to do. There was only one true Christian and that was Jesus. He cared about the homeless, the widow, and the orphans more than fitting into the Christian box..so that's what i will do. I'm sure there will be post after post of outraged 'christians' who are burning their UO cd's and furious because this isn't what they wanted to hear. I have a hard time loving those people, but I'm trying. Usually when I see those posts I laugh and joke with my friends about how stupid people can be, and for that I'm sorry, but this time I wanted to be transparent in hopes that some clarity and headway could be made on these topics. If not I guess there will be an extreme surge of Underoath cd's in the local record shop's used bin...so if you don't have a lot of money and want any of our records then wait about a week after this is posted and hit up the cd shops...you're bound to find what you're looking for. I love you all...and I almost forgot...Happy Thanksgiving!!! By the way...Aaron is going to be doing an Almost tour in January and all of you guys should go out and see him...check his site for more details!!!! I love you all...even you.

SOURCE: underoath777.com

All Over The Place...

Well…Gotta say I am a little not confused, but asking some questions…Had conversation at work with a guy who is not a Christian, but is very spiritual and believes wholeheartedly in God, I’m not sure which God though, Christian, Allah, or his own…Anyways, he went through some crap and messed himself up a bit and swears God turned him around…As he said, God “hit with a 2 x 4 in the head in a loving way”…I found that funny…I believe him though…I really believe God smoked him right in the head with a board and straightened him out…
Another issue…this guy has a huge problem with religions and hates the three main ones the most…He thinks Christians are a bunch of hypocritical, clicky, narrow-minded people…He thinks the Muslims are a bunch of radical nutballs…“Who is anyone to say what way is right and wrong?” he asked me…”Who are we to say what the right way to live is?” He told me that is you are striving to be the best person you can be and are a good member of this world (not society because he hates society for personal reasons…I do too frankly…) then you will be judged accordingly…Interestingly enough he thinks Jesus was a wonderful man, but he just hates the people Jesus hangs around with…Needless to say it was a good conversation…We agreed on the fact that Christians suck and that judging someone seems to be a way of life now in the world…But it just left me thinking, is Christianity the way? Now, I am not abandoning my faith, for in James, I think, it said that the testing of our faith develops perseverance…But what if?
Interestingly enough, this guy is gay…Would have mattered is he were straight though?

A Fall to Grace...

First off…if you can…read the article “A Fall to Grace” by Ed Young in the latest issue of RELEVANT Magazine…This entry is inspired a little by that article…

Once again I am brought back to the beauty of grace…Lately I have been putting God in a box again…A very small one…For some reason I thought that this thing God has called grace is an exhaustible source…Ha…are you kidding? It’s pretty much the opposite…God has an bottomless source of grace, one of the hardest things for the human mind to comprehend and fathom…I have been “screwing up” so much lately and not doing my “normal God stuff” that I my mind has wandered to an almost inescapable place of self-righteousness and self-pity…I have tried to fix my so called “bad-feeling” my own way…Pretending I prayed, pretending I did the Christian thing, and actually succeeding in tricking myself into thinking I was doing fine…I am reminded of how my friend Jeremy Slager used to tell me about when he argued with himself and lost…I used to think that was rubbish until recently (try it sometime, it’s an interesting experience :)…
Probably at the root of all these feelings are thoughts that limit God to nothing short of a horoscope...Specifically his grace…I put my sin and the grace of God on an equal plane, and this is completely unjustified…”But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!” Romans 6:15…
To think that you have sinned so badly and so many times that God wants nothing to do with you and will never forgive or enter your heart again is to spit on the foot of the cross Jesus himself was crucified on…If you think you have screwed up, not matter how big or small, and then you enter into a wallow of darkness and a state of feeling sorry for yourself, and then think that God doesn’t love you let alone like you, your understanding of God is wrong and misguided…The beauty of grace is that it overcomes ANY sin to complete yourself as a child of God and fills in the hole in your heart where nothing else can…God wants to be a part of your life so badly that he endured the pain of watching his son beaten, tortured, and have nails driven through his wrists amid blood that was shed for every human to ever live…Try to put that one in a box somewhere…

Just let go and let the One who knows you better than yourself take over…completely…

“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Christ our Lord.”
Romans 6:20-21

Music...Thank God...

I must thank God for music everyday...I just can't get over how it can affect you so much...It makes me want to do things I would not do in a quiet room (mostly because of my ADD) but I will just go nuts and head bang to some hard stuff, or bob and sway to the feel good stuff...Music does something to me...It makes me want to be the person I never thought I could be and I truly believe God uses music as a median to speak to us, as well as something we can communicate to God with…I’m in a worship band and I like to play my guitar anytime, and I know those are times I feel closest to God…The times I can just feel the music flowing through my soul into worship…The times I don’t give a rip what I look like or what people think of me…I know sometimes I let music become a god in itself, and that is something I have to work on, but I really love those times of pure spiritual movement that come with music…So, as personal advice, next time you feel moved with music, don’t stall, just let it all out…You will find that it was well worth it…In the words of Kevin Young of Disciple, “Everyone, worship God in your own way…”

Let the moshing begin again…

Worship = Wonder

Once again, Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) produces yet another thought provoking, mind-blowing view of Christianity…I love getting my mind blown :)… So, there is this chapter called Worship: The Mystical Wonder, it’s like chapter 17 I think…But anyways, it basically plays along the idea that worship is more than just getting up and singing to God with certain songs picked out by the band or singer leading worship…Rather, it’s anytime you realize that the “Wonder of God happens right above our arithmetic and formula. The more I climb outside my pat answers, the more invigorating the view (sunset, sunrise), the more my heart enters into worship.” That got me thinking about all the times I sit outside and look at the stars at night…A frequent in the summer at bonfires…There is just something about the stars that just shuts me up…I am staring at things a heck of a long way away in a universe that is way bigger than my mind can comprehend….There are things out there that never will be found and places never searched, all the while I get to look at it in wonder, and worship God for it all, thanking Him for creating my insignificant, tiny self on this tiny earth and giving me eternal life along with it…Wait for it…Yep, my mind just blew… :) Besides…the stars are just freaking cool looking, and when you throw some shooting ones in with the Northern Lights, it makes for one heck of a night…(true story)…
I think a lot of the time no one lets go of the pat answers to explain things and such…I think people, including me, try to “chart God on a grid” and have a correct answer for why he does what he does…Not enough time is spent just sitting in awe of Him and letting your mind run over all the things He did, does, and will do forever…And I won’t even go into how “forever” blows my mind…Really, we must realize that God is in control of everything, no matter how hard it is to understand that…One of the best quotes ever in the chapter… "There are things you cannot understand, and you must learn to live with this. Not only must you learn to live with this, you must learn to enjoy this."
I think this is my main struggle at the moment, just letting go of the way I want to explain things and understand them, and just let awe, wonder, and praise fill my entire being and realize God is one huge dude....

I Want A Faith Like That...

Lately I have been all over the place spiritually...I really have let Satan get a hold of me and let me slip on the small things and then progress to bigger things…Let me tell you, it sucks…And when I get down sometimes, I throw in some music to try and feel better, which by the way, is something that only temporarily fixes a problem, (not a recommendation for use as a problem fixer)…Anyways, I threw in Jonah 33 and went to really one of the only songs I know by them, “Faith Like That”…As I listened to the words, it hit me that I really have not been in the right mind…I haven’t been longing for the right things…The song talks about wanting to be like the first Christians, the first followers of Jesus, the ones who completely gave all they had, gave their lives for something they realized was and is bigger than themselves…I long to have that mindset…I want to be sold out for Christ and have his love and power permeate through my pores…I don’t want to be able to hide from the one thing in me that is so powerful and huge that anyone who sees will believe…I know in a way I am sitting here whining about my own little spiritual battle, and I’m wallowing in my sin and feeling sorry for myself…I know there are starving children in Africa who need the love of Christ (high five Jerm) and who need someone to love on them and make them feel like they are someone…So, it seems like I am in my own little shell just rolling around and not getting anywhere…Non of this is good, of course, because it is a lie from Satan that I should dwell on my sins and beat myself up for them…All I have to do is give all to God and so completely trust his every move and judgment that I no longer question life and its meaning…I no longer fall back into petty sin…I only move forward…Basically, I want to have the faith of old…the faith that does not question…the faith that only reflects God and who He really is…

I Have heard about the days of old
About the men who followed You
And how they saw the Supernatural
And became the chosen few

So I come before You now
Tearing off my earthly crowns
For this one thing I have Found

I want Faith Like That
To see the dead rise
Or to see You pass by
Oh I, I want Faith Like That
Whatever the cost
I'll suffer the loss,
Oh I want Faith Like That

:Jonah 33- "Faith Like That"

Something in this world is broken...and we are supposed to hold our palms over the wounds...

There is something wrong in this world…There is something that tells us its okay when its really not…There is something that tells us to run from hope…There is something that tells us not to trust in the one things that is constant, the one thing that has been and will be forever…No matter how far you try to run from truth, it hits you like a ton of bricks…One day you are sitting there contemplating what all of it means and why anything happens, and the next minute you realize that there is a reason for everything…You begin to see that it all fits like a puzzle, hard to see the end result at first, but the farther you go, the more your goal becomes visible…The more you feel like a person with a purpose…You see that there are so many people that hurt and are lost just like you were and still are at times…Your heart breaks as it hits you all at once that this world is lost…So…what are you going to do about it?

Changing...

So this weekend I went down to Huntington to see Abe and met some sweet people and toured a pretty cool college…On Sunday I went with him to his church that is above a coffeehouse called Springwater…The pastor has dreads, is in his twenties, and wears jeans…He’s my hero…:) What he talked about though, was even cooler…He was talking about Paul in his letter to the Corinthians…about how some people were what Heath (the pastor) called scholarly Christians, or they were the Christians who lived out their faith my their deeds and works…They did not separate their deeds and works…Heath talked about that fact that there are people who just sat around and talked about the Bible and what certain things meant, and there were those who found answers by living out the life Christ said to…They served the people, obeyed God wholeheartedly, and had no possessions, everything was everyone’s…Problem with all this is, it really is no different today…So many people talk Christian, walk Christian and act Christian, but in their heart, God has no place. Funny thing is, no matter if I know it or not, I am that hollow Christian a lot of the time...I throw God on the side burner and try to get through the day on my own...Most of the time it works, another funny thing...But it's those times that you just let God take over and run it all that life seems complete and worth getting up in the morning for..Sorry if I make no sense, thoughts are just flying around...

...jake

Faith...

Faith…what a word....Anyone can have faith in anything, a god, a friend, a pet…But the faith that is forever is faith in God…Sounds like a Sunday school pat answer right? Of course…funny thing is, it’s so true and obvious that sometimes people look over it and go their own way. In Blue Like Jazz, Don Miller says the thing about Christian faith is that you believe it and don’t believe it at the same time…It’s the thing that I love about it…You can try to explain to someone why you believe what you believe, but sometimes its harder than stale bread because either you chicken out or you realize the Christian faith is a huge mystery. I’m not saying this is an excuse for failing to share your faith with someone, because explaining how much of a mystery it is really could interest someone…Now if what I have just said makes little or no sense, its understandable. ADD and a tired brain will have that affect. J In essence, what it comes down to is realizing there is something greater than anything we see, hear, or touch. There is something out there that our minds cannot comprehend, no matter how hard we try. God created it that way. He wants us to understand what we need to, and keep the rest a mystery, which is what is so awesome about believing in Him. You keep going and growing and you never reach the end, at least here. What I have come to realize is that God can blow your mind everyday if you just look at the sun, stars, nature, and maybe someone you love who God has put in your life. For that moment, if never before, you believe with all that you have, and hope you become everything He intended you to be.


"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
Hebrews 11:1

Blue Like Jazz...Beginning...

So I started Blue Like Jazz for the second time, and this time I’m going to write some stuff as I go…thoughts…ideas…heart-felt movements…You know, the good stuff, just being real and going from deep inside…Any one who has read the book and feels a need to correct or comment on me, please do so, as I am no genius… :)
At the beginning, the author, Don Miller, is mostly giving an overview of the first twelve or so years of his life, how in childhood God was more the boss of things like commandments and strict about things, instead of someone you could relate to and talk with. Miller then goes into how religion is something you can hide behind, something that waters down what really is going on. The feeling of having to redeem yourself keeps nagging at you…Anyone can walk around inside religion and miss the fact that God is a person, a Being with thoughts and feelings. It waters Him down to an idea. The term Miller uses for God like that is a slot machine, a “set of spinning images that dolled out rewards based on behavior and perhaps, chance.” This God will provide relief for immediate guilt and a sense of hope that your life will get organized. This pretty much is me most of the time. I simply pray for forgiveness, thinking it will all work out and the slot machine will spill out tokens of goodness. Miller says this is more like superstition than spirituality. What happens is that every time a good thing happens, it’s God, and every time a bad thing happens, you kneel in prayer, pulling the lever again. It’s really easy actually, because you never have to talk to this God and it won’t talk back…“But the fun never lasts.”